When I was younger

At 10 years of age I wanted to play defensive lineman for the Dallas Cowboys, and Randy White was my hero

At 13 I wanted to be a rock star, and Gene Simmons of Kiss was my hero

At 16 I wanted to die in the arena as a Portuguese bullfighter, and my heroes were Juan Belmonte and Carlos Arruza

At 20 I wanted to preach to thousands in stadiums around the world and my heroes were Billy Graham and Chuck Smith

At 25 I wanted to have a huge church made up of thousands of cell churches and my hero was Yongi Cho

At 30 I wanted to be left alone, to follow Jesus in my own way, and my heroes were Buddy Suitor, Alan Hirsch and Mark Sayers

Now I am 45, and I have learned that what I want is often silly, and not what I need. I have learned that my heroes are very fallible, and they should be influences rather than heroes. I have learned that what I plan for, and what happens is actually quite different and that what matters is how I love in the process.

I hope that our community in Long Beach continues to grow into a network of house churches, and intentional communities committed to loving our neighbors, specifically our marginalized neighbors. I hope that I will finish a book that can share our journey with a wider audience. I hope that I might have the opportunity to speak to the church at large a bit. I hope that I grow ever more committed to discipleship.

I am thankful for people like Ched Myers, Neil Cole, Alan and Deb Hirsch and Dave Andrews that encourage me along the way. I am thankful for my friends that are fighting the enemy with me. I am thankful for my community that loves me for who I am and compels me to be better. I am especially thankful for my wife, whom I grow to love more, and trust more every day.

When I was younger I wanted to be something or someone else, now I just want to be a better me

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