I AM FULL OF SHIT!!!

Ofcourse you regular reader knew this already.

My stomach problems have been diagnosed through the tireless work of the Doctors at Millenium medical clinic in Footscray. I have a back up of fecal matter in my lower intestines.

Now still being regular begs the question just how much crap can I produce? Apparently quite a bit. Its lots of fiber for me. Mmmmmm delicious fiber

atleast I can go back to drinking beer, it has been a long week.

:)

thanks for your prayers

the rev

One of my heroes needs help!!!

Dave Andrews, http://www.daveandrews.com.au/ has had all of his funding stopped by the baptist union in Queensland. This was done abruptly, and was done because they feel that Dave's work is no longer their future direction. This has had a devastating effect on the ministry including the possible loss of home for the Andrews and others as well as the loss of funding for many of their ministries.

If you would like to help, as I am helping as much as I am able and a little bit more, please contact me by email. Or you can use the donate buttons on this site and specify for Dave Andrews and I will transfer the money to him. Please pray for Dave and his family and all of the people involved with the Waiters Union. This man has inspired me in so many ways, and has quite literally changed my life through his books.

john

time to take a breath, and pick up our visa

Got home and the next day started a five day intensive that was quite a bit of work. Well today I got to sleep in till 8. Felt good, if I didn't wake up at six thirty it would have been really nice. :)

I will try and write a bit more about the intensive tomorrow, or maybe later tonight. I also have a few things to write from our trip. But today I am going to spend some time with my wife whom I haven't really seen since I left to come home seven days ago, go get some groceries, get our visa which is being granted as I write, and then I need to go to the doctor.

Join us in celebrating the approval of our visa for the next two years, and celebrating the birth of our oldest daughter, Adriahna turns 17 today. And if you have some time please pray for my belly, not sure whats up but going to a doctor to see. Will talk more later.

the rev

FORGE intensive

Has been a great two days. We managed to make the old gym at Tabor College not look like a converted gym. Some art, lots of candles, some icons and nicknacks and some creative seating arrangements and we were all set.

Matt Jacoby (Sons of Korah) started the first three sessions off with three or four psalms. I enjoyed his insight on the psalms in between the songs, and I also really appreciated his love for music as more than just an emotional romantic device, but rather something born in our hearts, that can be part of our dicipleship, and our interaction with the word.

Darryl Gardiner is one of my favorite people. He did the first session on Friday night and it was wonderful. Darryl does not live in the world of Christian faerie tales, he tells it like it is. Sustainability in our walk is all about looking at the truth that it is often hard. God doesn't always do what we want or think. The important part is not to have the answers, or the magic to make things better, but rather to be present in others lives, and allow them to be in yours.

Then yesterday morning he shared about how our motivations are often far less pure than our words. We often go into ministry looking for God's call, but also looking for romance, excitement, the adulation of our friends and family. We can get caught up in the cause or the team. And though God uses all these things for good often, when we seek to have our personal desires met by ministry, we will see that it doesn't work, and we wind up leaving the ministry, or even the faith.

John Franke came and spoke to us about the theology of the trinity, and its practical application to the life of the church and mission. It was really brilliant, deep, thinkers stuff, which I enjoy even if I can't understand it all. But maybe I just liked the guy because he was an American who also is obsessed with cricket. The guy actually reads wisden.

Mark Sayers is the most insightful man I have ever met, and yesterday he was as usual brilliant. He talked about our tendency to treat our walk with God as a contract, like a mobile phone contract. In our consumeristic world we have become so used to this contractual idea that we have forced the God of creation into this box. The idea is that we do this service and that service and we expect this or that result. If our life isn't sufficiently fulfilled, if we haven't met that special someone, if we don't have all the "blessings" we earned, then we feel ripped off. God isn't fulfilling His part of the contract. How disgusting.

Olivia McClaine returned to FORGE after having her twins, two beautiful little boys who's pictures were projected onto the screen. She spoke to us about her faith community, Soulice (sp), and there journey to becoming all that God intended them. Their reliance on the ancient disciplines, not to earn Gods grace of favour, but to better understand God's purpose in their own lives.

I was beset by jet lag and looking at the long train ride home from ringwood gave my apologies to Kim, I fell asleep often on the train home, but luckily made it, where I passed out, and ofcourse woke up at five this morning. Which is an improvement on the three oclock yesterday. One more sleep and I might be adjusted.

I have much more to write, but not the time, so please keep checking in.

the rev

Well I am home now

What a trip!!!

I really enjoyed seeing everybody, especially my mom. She took such great care of my and my family. Had my fourtieth birthday in the states, felt old not because of the birthday, or the silly cards and posters, but because there were so many of the young people we loved and pastored over the years that were now grown up, married, expecting kids, and venturing into the faith themselves.

I got to preach at the church Raquel and I ministered as youth pastors at. Did some jiu jitsu seminars. Ate at a posh Manhattan eatery coutesy of two friends of mine http://www.taorestaurant.com/



Went to a chapel in Manhattan that was designed by Louise Nevelson and that was awesome, did some praying and some crying, it was really cool.

Gorged myself on mexican food at every opportunity.

Almost finished a painting, will put pictures up in a week or two when I do finish it.

Enjoyed the 38 degree summer quite a bit.

Stayed at the beach with some friends.

It was a great trip, but I am glad to be home. Need to get back to work. I hope to be more consistent with my blogging, hope you will visit and comment often.

the rev

Journal writing

Reading the book The Life You Save Could Be Your Own, I have been compelled once again to making journaling a discipline. But the question I have is where should I do this? Seeing that Merton and Day published their journals and that they became a positive influence makes me wonder if I should make this blog my journal.

Then part of me thinks having a small portable notebook to write in would be better. Maybe I could be more honest and just post some edited excerpts from it here.

Then part of me thinks: Well you'll most likely just keep it up for a week or two anyways so why bother?

Perhaps some advice from y'all would help

the rev

What is a hypocrite?

I was thinking about this the other day. I think we all have our own pet hypocrisies. Does this make us all hypocrites?

While reading a great book called The Life You Save Might Be Your Own, about the Catholic writers, Thomas Merton, Dorothy Day, Flannery O'Conner, and Walker Percy, I was challenged by Day's resolute pacifism. She almost destroyed her organization, the Catholic Worker, and her own reputation, but continuing in her pacifism even amidst compelling arguements for the "just war" theory preceeding and throughout World War II.

If war is to be justified you would think that with the unprovoked attack on Pearl Harbour, and the march of Hitler, would be a very strong case study. And I wondered how I would handle such a situation.

And that got me thinking...

I really do believe in pacifism. Maybe not extreme pacifism, I would defend innocents with as little force as was necessary. I believe it is the way of Christ, and find it hard to justify killing or even injuring our enemies that we are called to love, and pray for. But as much as I believe in this, I must admit I would most likely not follow my beliefs in certain circumstances. Infact, if I am honest, I would probably be provoked to violence even without the threat of physical harm. And though I am sure I would feel incredible guilt afterwards, I do believe I would have trouble curtailing my natural reactions. Now this brings up two questions. The first we will leave for now, but it is this: If this is true do a really believe in pacifism?

But assuming that I do, (which is a big assumption), the second question is: Does this make me a hypocrite?

I am not sure it does. I think it makes me someone who admittedly cannot live up to their own values and ideals. Though I truly hope if it comes to it, I can resist my urges and do the right thing, I think it is quite possible I would not. I also think if it involved my wife or my daughters, I would definately live outside of my ideal.

So what is a hypocrite? I think a hypocrite would be someone who does not admit their own fragile nature, and also demands a lifestyle of others that they themselves cannot live. And that it seems requires a self absorption so complete that you cannot really look at yourself in truth. In my life the longer I dwell in the truth the more I realize what a flawed and imperfect vessel I am. And though I am frequently disappointed and even frustrated with others that I feel are not truly making an effort, I understand that living in righteousness is something that we may forever strive for, yet never completely realize.

Ofcourse this definition of hypocrite lets me off the hook...

which is why I hold it ofcourse :)

the rev

Peter vs Paul

Well this is a battle for the ages! :)

Spent a few days with a good friend. She works at an awesome place that provides shelter for pregnant women, and battered women. Kinda makes you feel proud to be a human when you see these kinds of places. Makes you feel embarassed to be human when you hear some of these girls stories. My friend is a great minister to these gals, and has developed some great ways to help them explore their spirituality using the arts and I am very proud of her.

She told my wife and I about an amazing psychologist that works at the shelter. He is very well known, and in high demand. But he stays at the shelter, has for thirty years. He busses groups to his home for barbeques and picnics. He is on call 24/7. He says he needs to be there for these girls for the long term, that they need to know someone is there for them and will be for the foreseeable future. I really admire that. It is an amazing thing he is doing. And its an amazing thing my friend is doing. They are Peters.

You see Peter stayed in Jerusalem. When the persecution got very intense and the church was forced outwards and underground Peter stayed in Jerusalem. He lead the church. He was the stability, the centre of the whole thing really. He dealt with long term conflicts, prejudices and personality problems. He dealt with financial hardships, jealousies, and sin. Peter stayed in one place, and everyone knew how and where to get ahold of him. And without him the church most likely would have suffered.

But there is another central character in the New Testement story. Paul, was not in one place long. Paul went from city to city, sometimes only staying for a few weeks. He started churches and left. Maybe he visited them again, maybe he sent them letters, but he certainly didn't stay. He was called to start stuff, not manage it. And I imagine lots of people were not too happy with him sometimes.

I am a Paul. I sometimes love being a Paul. Its very exciting, its dangerous, and its always new. The satisfaction I get from telling people about Jesus and figuring out how best to tell my story in new social settings is the most fun I can have. And to tell the truth I sometimes get bored if I am in one setting too long. But it also hurts like hell to be a Paul. I make deep caring relationships with people that are like family to me, and then I leave them. I lead people to Jesus, disciple people, empower them for ministry and then leave them to others to continue. Nobody sees the tears that accompany those things. But what gives me peace, is that I always know, I don't think, but I really know, that I am following my call and gifting, and the Spirits leading. People don't realize how hard it is when they try and entice me to be a Peter. There is much in me that wishes I could, the lure of that life is very strong, and for me I believe sinful.

Now the Peters face similiar issues. They can get bored, they can desire new borders and new adventures. They can get tired of the same old shite day in and day out. They can get soooo tired of certain individuals that keeps coming back to the same stupid place they were before. And these Peters will desire if only for a little while to join the Pauls. But they get other benefits, long term relationships, some kind of security and often they get to see the fruits of their labour and receive praise for all they have done.

The fact is however, that we need Peters and Pauls. Without Paul the gospel would have been restricted to a single social setting. Without Peter the church would have had no foundation. Now I, being a Paul, could point out that Jesus left the disciples, and so Jesus is more like Paul, but that doesn't fly because Jesus also said He'd never leave us or forsake us. And that is what I count on, that no matter if you are a Peter or a Paul, Jesus is always present, not just for you, but for those you minister with.

Looking back on my life I see that often times those I have ministered with, and cried over leaving, have become much truer and empowered disciples by my leaving. And I could say that those the doctor has ministered to have become truer and more empowered, because he stayed. That is the way this thing works. The gifts are beautiful because they are both needed and designed by God.

But I experience the scripture in a very profound and deep way, that tells of Paul, calling the elders of the church at Ephesus to come to him by the shore. And in tears he tells them he will not see them again. And that he did not want to come to their city, or else it would be too hard to leave. Seeing my friends and family here, I can relate so much. I miss them terribly. And my heart will break to leave again. But...

my friends in Australia want us back. And someday, not too soon I hope, I will have to say goodbye to them as well. In the end I must follow my Lord in whatever way he has called me. And it only does me bad to wish for a different calling. Rather I wish for myself and for my friends, that we would live in the presence, and power of Jesus. For the kingdom of God, is for those that really understand what it means to obey the king.

the rev

met an artist in Manhattan

When I went to Manhattan to see some of the museums, I found myself in a mass of swirling Puerto Rican madness. It was the Puerto Rico pride parade, and it basically vice gripped midtown, and made getting to the museums almost impossible. When I finally got into the Gugenheim I was in such an agravated state that enjoying it was difficult.

I figured the Met was out of the question, so I went down town and didn't really have a plan. I got off the subway at Union Square and saw some breakdancers. I stopped to watch and dropped a buck into their tray. They were not only very good dancers, but good entertainers as well.

Then I was looking at the artists on the street. There was a lot of original art, which is really cool. But this one guys art just really stood out to me. His name is Scott Newcomb, and his work is very textured and I felt very strong. I asked him about his process, and he explained how he used chemicals, wax, and metal in various ways. Often getting colors not from pigments but from chemical reactions. He also scratched, cut, and otherwise got a bit violent with the paintings. I liked them even more.

We found ourselves talking for about an hour, and I tried not to hinder any sales. He asked me about my art, we talked about spirituality within art, about where we lived. It was a really nice hour. He also told me where to find an amazing church that had a chapel designed by Louise Nevelson, who is one of my favorite artists. http://www.saintpeters.org/art/nevelsonpg.html

In the end I couldn't leave without taking one of his pieces home with me. I bought a very small piece that looks a bit similiar to this one



and you can see more of his work at newcomboriginals.com

the rev

seeing good friends

It's kinda weird! It's actually so natural, and so normal to be sitting with our friends talking, having a coffed or some nice Mexican food, that we almost feel like we never left. Almost anti-climatic its just like another day, only we are fourteen hours away from home.

But it has been really good. Last night we sat with two pregnant couples, one very very pregnant. We got to see our good friends new baby, who is actually a year old now. These are the crazy things. And the way kids grow, you leave for a few years and kids grow up. Ofcourse we know our girls inspire the same sense of time change.

Today I am doing a seminar at my old jiu jitsu club, then going to do a bit of kareoke with friends. Should be a great day.

the rev