Into the silence

Well I have found a cabin that I can use for free out in the bush. So I guess I am going to find my silence and solitude. I am still a bit scared, extreme extroverts are not really that comfortable with solitude and silence.

My wife is going to go up to the cabin with me and we will spend the Monday together bush walking and then she will leave me there. I will be picked up on Thursday morning. I am still not sure exactly how I should order my time.

And advice would be great. Also wondered if at silent retreats they speak prayers aloud? And is the goal not to write as well? Some things I have planned was scripture readings. Taking communion daily. And possible doing some painting. I am planning on having regular times of centering prayer, and trying to practice stillness.

I would rather get charged by a bull.

rev

Surrender conference (panel discussions)

At surrender I was asked to be on a few panels. One was on ministry as a family that was with my wife. The second was on starting communities from scratch. And the third was on worship. I was honoured to be on each of these panels, as the people I was with were very amazing people, doing some great works, and I did feel a bit humbled to be among them.

I will not go into too much about what was said, but if you have any questions about any of these things please just ask and I will try and give you the combined wisdom as I heard it. But what I did want to point out was the quality of teaching and instruction that came out of these sessions was very very strong.

As you may have recognized from my posts and maybe from me personally, I am not shy. I speak my mind quite freely, and usually believe I have something worthwile to say. And even if I don't I'll will speak up anyways :) But I really saw this weekend, that I always gave, just a piece of the picture. And when we had a group there was a more complete picture given. And thats not all, since it was not just one person speaking, the "audience" not only felt allowed to ask questions, but to offer their own answers as well. I hope to use this format more in FORGE, and I think it is something that church should be more about. The collective wisdom of a community of faithful disciples will always bring a more well rounded wisdom.

rev

Surrender conference (Mick Duncan)

Was a very inspiring weekend. Loved all of the messages. Loved being with such a great crowd of people. Loved getting to share some of my own journey.

I thought I would share a few of the highlights for me, the first being Mick Duncan. Mick spent ten years of his life in a Manila slum. He speaks from a platform of both integrity and brokeness. He always, everytime, challenges me deeply. He is a great speaker, very powerful, but not always very fun to listen to. My friend Jon Owen described listening to him speak this way, "its like he smiles and then stabs you with a knife... and then twists it... and when you think you can't take anymore he pulls the knife out... and jabs it in again" Which isn't always true, but I think you get the picture.

In the first session Mick talked about our mind, and what we have mentally decided was our non-negotiables. He talked to us about God being the only thing allowed to be in that non-negotiable space, and anything else put there becomes an idol. At the end of the talk he asked us to take a time of confession. He asked us to kneel before God and confess the areas of our life that were not in obedience to God.

In actual fact, I believe that in my life I didn't think anything was intentionally above the line. I actually think I would do whatever God told me to do. But it is the nonintentional, as it is much of the time, that was and is giving me problems. My confession is one that probably won't shock you in the least, but I desperately look for the respect and admiration of other people. Particularly older men, or peers that I deeply respect. I really want them to be proud of me. And sometimes, well perhaps more honestly often, I am motivate by this rather than by my love and devotion to God.

I sat down with a brother in the Lord and told him about my struggle, one that has gone on for as long as I can remember. And he told me that Henri Nouwen also struggled with these things. He advised me that like Nouwen, I may find my struggle with this sin in my life, helped by times of solitude and silence. This confirmed my own thoughts about my need for this.

The problem is silence and solitude scares the hell out of me. I do not know if I can do it. But I need to. So when I am done writing this post, I will start looking for a place to have a time of silence and solitude. I am not sure if I will get a tent and just go to Wilsons Prom by myself, or go to a monastery of some sort. But I will do this in the next month...

unless one of you can suggest some really good excuses for me not to do it. Please!!!

rev

These last four days

Well its been pretty full on these last few days. Been running non stop. Had our FORGE dinner, which took a bit of work to set up, and a bit of work to run and a bit of work to finish. Then we had the UNOH surrender conference, and that was awesome, but exhausting as well. Then we rushed back to the Cave and had the privlidge of having Darryl Gardiner come speak to us.

Pretty full on, non stop for a few days. But there is a tiredness that is not weariness. I am thankful to have today off, to spend a day with my wife just relaxing. I am only writing here because Raquel is having a nap, and I cannot as I am having some sleeping problems at the moment.

I will write a bit about my personal experiences this weekend in another post, but I am just feeling the need to share my thankfulness for a busy, tiring weekend. It isn't a bad thing at all.

rev

Two worlds collide (last nights dinner)

This last Sunday Raquel and I celebrated 18 years of marriage. I am very thankful for my wife, and our wonderful relationship. We have fought through many difficulties, we have survived theological shifts, church plants and closings, panic attacks, kidney stones, unemployment, eviction, depression ect. We have experienced the joy of companionship, amazing passion, the birth of our two beautiful children and the blessing of ministering to many young people along the way. It truly is a celebration for us.

Now as you might know we live fairly simple lives, don't have a lot, don't really need a lot. But every once and a while we get a special treat. Last night as we celebrated our anniversary we were able to use a gift voucher for a beautiful, fancy restaurant in St. Kilda called the Stokehouse.

http://www.stokehouse.com.au/

We were given this voucher as a thank you for the work we do with Red Network (formerly South melbourne restoration community). This allowed us to go and have a really nice night out, that we wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise.

So we are sitting upstairs, looking over the bay, and enjoying the most beautiful food. I had potato and leek ravioli with parmesan encrusted pumpkin, and really nice glass of red wine from Spain and we shared a beautiful affogato with walnut liquer for dessert. My wife looked beautiful and we were enjoying the atmosphere.

Then my mate Jono from UNOH sent a text message. If you don't know Urban Neighbors of Hope, they are an amazing group of people that live in community with people below the poverty line. Some of the UNOH team live in the slums of Bangkok in what amounts to a shed, with their children. This amazing organization is worthy of your prayers and financial support if you want more info http://www.unoh.org/html/s01_home/home.asp?dsb=5 AND PLEASE GO TO THE SURRENDER CONFERENCE THIS MONTH

Well when I get Jon's text I am confronted with the amazing diversity of these two worlds. I am eating in this posh restaurant, and am communicating with a sacrificial missionary, who inpires me so much. The question is what do you do with this?

Now I could follow my good Catholic upbringing and jump right into guilt. I could also jump to my Pentecostal education and say "God wants me to have this wonderful meal as His blessing". But I found myself in neither of those camps. I sat with my wonderful wife, and enjoyed a gift, and also prayed that God would allow me to become more like Jesus, accepting life as it comes. Having a wonderful feast with some wealthy friends and experiencing hunger an homelessness the next. Accepting the annointing of oil with grace, and walking in absolute humility, even becoming the worst of slaves, by washing his disciples feet. That truly is a man to follow.

rev

MIRACLES!!! a discussion next Sunday at the Cave

What about miracles? This next Sunday at the Cave we are gonna take a look at some miracles in the book of acts, and talk about miracles. We will discuss the different arguements for and against miracles both in the past and today. We will talk about a practical response to some of the problems and will even have some time for prayer.

I am a bit nervous talking about the subject, I find that so much weirdness in the church has made me reluctant to talk about the supernatural. And the typical attitude of "naturalists" to dismiss it as faerie tales and con men, doesn't make it any easier.

If you would like to share anything that might be helpful on the subject I would be grateful. In other words, help me do my homework!

:)

rev

Monday morning message part three(a day late)

We then moved on to communion. I shared how in the litugies there were two important bits to prepare our hearts to take communion, the first is the prayer of confession:

Father, I ask you to forgive me for my sins this week. I have often been selfish, I have treated my wife and children with annoyance at times. I have often dwelt upon things I would like to have that would make my life more comfortable and easy. I have wasted time building my own kingdom, rather than participating in yours. I have gossiped, and let my toungue be unrestrained. Please forgive me Lord, and make me clean.

Please feel free to post a prayer of confession if you will, but if you want to post pictures I might have to edit them :)

The second is the Statement of our Faith, or the Apostles Creed:

I think again the words may sometimes fade into absent memorized nothingness. So we wrote our own statement of faith, and then we took communion.


I belive in Jesus, the center of all things. I believe He was sent by the Father to show us the way, to reveal the truth, and to give us life. I believe He became a man so that He could truely be our brother, and suffered the humilation of humanity. He died for our sins and rose again so that even death would be destroyed. He is the victorious saviour. I believe He sent the SPirit to guide, empower and instruct us. I believe we are now called to be Gods missionaries to all of the earth, until God brings the entire earth under the rulership of the kingdom of God.

rev

Monday morning message part two (a day late)

Then I played two songs, one was Bruce Cockburns song Lord of the Starfields.

Lyrics:

Lord of the starfields
Ancient of Days
Universe Maker
Here's a song in your praise

Wings of the storm cloud
Beginning and end
You make my heart leap
Like a banner in the wind

O love that fires the sun
Keep me burning.
Lord of the starfields
Sower of life,
Heaven and earth are
Full of your light

Voice of the nova
Smile of the dew
All of our yearning
Only comes home to you

O love that fires the sun
keep me burning


And spoke of our lack of creativity in describing God, and our limited vocabulary for praise. I pointed out that often we say or sing the same things over and over again, and they lose their meaning. I asked people to think of new phrases or words of praise for God.

Mine were maybe a bit cheesy, but so you will be inspired to do better here they are

Rainbow maker

Cosmic artist

Depth of the black hole

first help

coach

Please list what you come up with.

rev

Monday morning message part one (a day late)

Hello my friends. Sunday night at the cave we tried something different, with some degree of success. We decided since our musical director was missing, we might try something a bit alternative. We decided to have a service given to writing and drawing.

Please participate if you will:

We enter Gods courts with thanksgiving one of the psalms says. So we wrote down, or drew pictures of things that we wanted to thank God for.



I thank God for my family.



a great place to train



my puppy winston

And I am very thankful for what Jesus has done in my life, waking me up to the kingdom of God, teaching me about community, the primacy of the poor and the marginalized, the joy of discipleship. I thank God for the ministry I am now part of, and the amazing people I am walking the path with. I thank God for providing for my family. I am thankful that I know forgiveness, and love, and passion.

please post things you are thankful for

and then move to part 2

Monday morning message

Acts chapter 4

5The next day the rulers, elders and teachers of the law met in Jerusalem. 6Annas the high priest was there, and so were Caiaphas, John, Alexander and the other men of the high priest's family. 7They had Peter and John brought before them and began to question them: "By what power or what name did you do this?"

8Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: "Rulers and elders of the people! 9If we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple and are asked how he was healed, 10then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. 11He is
" 'the stone you builders rejected,
which has become the capstone.^[a]'^[b] 12Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved."

13When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. 14But since they could see the man who had been healed standing there with them, there was nothing they could say. 15So they ordered them to withdraw from the Sanhedrin and then conferred together. 16"What are we going to do with these men?" they asked. "Everybody living in Jerusalem knows they have done an outstanding miracle, and we cannot deny it. 17But to stop this thing from spreading any further among the people, we must warn these men to speak no longer to anyone in this name."

18Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. 19But Peter and John replied, "Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God. 20For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard."

21After further threats they let them go. They could not decide how to punish them, because all the people were praising God for what had happened. 22For the man who was miraculously healed was over forty years old.

I looked at this passage from two points of view, the first was as a man discipled in a pentecostal tradition:

Peter and John had just accomplished an amazing miracle, Peter utters a great one liner "silver and gold we have not, but what we do have we give to you: In the name of Jesus, rise and walk" And amidst the commotion a crowd gathers, and Peter begins to preach about Jesus. Then the Jewish leaders and priests have them arrested. They are the ones that at the very least assisted in the death of Jesus. These leaders take Peter and John aside and ask what they are doing.

Now Peter, being his usual cautious self, basically tells them that they had Jesus killed, and that it was in Jesus name this happened. The leaders threaten them, and tell them to stop, then threaten them some more.

A bit later in the chapter we read the church praying for boldness to continue to share the message of Jesus. And this is what I was taught over and over again. To pray for boldness like the apostles did. The thing is, this seems really silly to me. What do I have to be bold about? Or what do I have to be bold in the face of. These men's very lives were in danger, their bodies would be beaten, they would be banished, excommunicated, and eventually killed. In the face of this they asked God for boldness. What do I have to worry about? Someone might not like me. Someone might think I am a weirdo!!! Hardly the same thing huh?

But the second point of view:

These educated leaders were amazed that these uneducated labourers were bold enough to stand against them. How could these low lifes imagine themselves to be worthy of even speaking to them!!! Yet somehow they not only stood in confidence before them, but actually contradicted them right to their face. Didn't they know who they were talking to!

And from this, they realized they had been Jesus' companions.

Perhaps we need to pray for a more complete relationship with Jesus, rather than for boldness. Perhaps we should concentrate more on spending time with the risen Jesus, than on working ourselves up to the proper lather to share our faith. Maybe its from this knowledge of Jesus, and His love, and His victory, and His grace, that we just naturally go about being Jesus to others, caring for the broken hearted, praying for the sick, sharing the good news of the kingdom of God. Maybe, once again our focus should be on Jesus, not on ourselves. I think then we wind up naturally being the light in darkness that we are told about.

the rev