Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Artwork, Spirituality, and ADD

I have Attention Deficit Disorder, have had it my whole life. It makes it hard to complete tasks, keep conversations on track, or sometimes hard to just sit still. They gave me medication for it, it worked really well, but also turned me into a mushy, passionless, dork. So I stopped taking it. And after going though a pretty tough bout of depression I am now once again a loud, obnoxious, passionate, dork. Like most people that have these kinds of issues, I learned to self medicate. What I found to be the best medicine for me was Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and mixed martial arts training. Four or five days a week of hard training and some herbal speeds like guarana and MaJuang helped tremendously, but without the adverse personality dump.

Unfortunately I am getting older, and my body is getting more and more broken. I can no longer train hard four or five days a week. I can usually train hard one day, and then need a week or two recovery. So not only do I feel like an old fart, but my medicine isn't available anymore.

What does this have to do with spirituality and artwork? Well, my inability to hold on to a thought longer than ten seconds makes prayer, meditation, silence and other things very difficult. As well as making it hard to connect with my wife, and daughters, and members of the church. This is spirituality for me, and my "condition" makes it difficult for me to be spiritual. But now I am experiencing a new medicine. One that doesn't hurt me. Painting seems to quite my spirit, it seems to focus my soul, it seems to allow me connection with God. When I paint it is almost like I am praying, or meditating. I feel like God's Spirit is working through me. And I feel calmed, relaxed and focused. This does not just happen while I am painting but continues on into my life.

I will continue this discussion as well as others for the next few days, right now something else caught my attention :)

the rev


Kitty Cheng said...

I agree that spirituality and artwork are very connected. I've tried painting (although I'm not a good painter) as a way of worshipping God, and it's such a great idea to connect with God that way through it.

I should try that more. Thanks for your sharing rev.

Garth said...

No one need to tell you what spirituality is all about. Fantastic!