Amy Winehouse, Oslo, Somalia ect. (this tragic world)

This past weekend we were saddened by the death of the incredibly talented, but tragically enslaved singer Amy Winehouse. Before that we heard the horrific reports of a lone man, consumed by hate and bigotry, who injured and murdered almost a hundred young people in Oslo. In addition we continue to get reports of the widespread famine in Somalia, and the factions that keep relief from getting to them.

In addition Japan is still reeling from the earthquakes, New Zealand the same and Haiti is still in dire straights. There is not enough time in the news to cover it all.

Add to that the incredible deaths in the drug cartels in Mexico, the wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan. The violent regimes in Burma, Libya, Syria ect.. This world seems like a pretty shitty place.

My dear friend in the Navy is currently stationed in a country that is a near the middle east and the gulf. He does much aid work, and humanitarian work (the thing the forces do more of than gets reported and for which I am proud of). And he sees every day the horrible atrocities done on a small scale. Women with their genitals mutilated (90%), young girls with acid burns for going to school, kids that have suffered severe beatings, and just simple starvation and disease. These things almost never get reported as they are poor, and small, and insignificant.

In the park this weekend we ate breakfast with a homeless guy who was missing one of his front teeth, had stitches in his gums and lip, and staples in his head after being attacked with a pipe and a wooden pole or bat. The police responded 90 minutes after they were called. While two weeks earlier the cops responded in ten minutes because another homeless man urinated in the bushes (before the public bathrooms had been opened up). Of course no one hears about this, who cares about the little stuff, especially when we have the big stuff to worry about.

Mother Teresa said, "you don't need to to great things, just little things, with great love" Gandhi said, "you must be the change you want to see in the world" I challenge you today, I challenge myself today, to start to live in a way that makes the world a better place. Love the unloved. Care for the uncared for. Don't worry about what you can't do, and do what you can. Write a letter to a congress person about Somalia, or Burma, or Afghanistan. Start a group around Ched Myers book Sabbath Economics and live a different economy. Invite a homeless person, or struggling family to share dinner with you. The problem is not too big, our imagination is too small. Christ died and rose to redeem this world, lets live like that is true.

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What I have learned over these last 10 days

1. I am often misunderstood, sometimes that is my fault, sometimes that is my readers fault, sometimes it is the incompleteness of our mechanisms of communication.

2. I still want to be popular, and heard far and wide (which I think is ego), yet I believe I have an important message, and a faithful testimony, (which is ministry) and it takes integrity, and community to hold the two in tension.

3. I still hate it when people don't see how correct I obviously am.

4. I am very much personally invested in what I say, write or paint

5. I am not alone in my journey, there are many that walk before, with and behind me, and we are one

6. and probably the thing I learned the most was... People really want to see Driscoll get beat up :)

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, and be a part of my learning experience. I will be starting to record my teaching videos on the radical gospel of Matthews Jesus again, so if you want to catch up please go to: the rev

"see you" tomorrow

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be still and know that I am God

For my new friend Meredith Gould I will be brief :)

The practice of silence, stillness, listening prayer is not something that comes naturally for me. I am more of a assault the throne of God, Pentecostal, type prayer guy. I yell to and at God, often outloud, and I relate to the psalmist. But I also need to develop the part of me that hears that still small voice. This is what I am trying to learn now, and it isn't easy.

Every morning during the work week I wake up, light a candle, and spend twenty minutes trying to be still, and silent before God. This morning I managed maybe twenty seconds in a row at one time, which was a break through. But one thing I did "hear" while sitting, was that the Holy Spirit is at work. I watched the flame flicker, back and forth, and realized that God works in and among this world. And sometimes its outline would break from its tear drop and become anarchic, and wild, and unpredictable, yet it was the same flame. It made me want to look deeper, and be afire more.

Be still, know that I am God, then get your ass up and be my presence in the world.

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HOLY SHIT!!!

So I have been getting a little flack for my language, thought I might address it. I have been accused of a few things:

1. Stumbling others by trying to be relevant

2. Trying to be hip and looking silly

3. Being a bad example as a pastor

4. Not being "holy" according to scriptures teachings

Well lets take a look shall we?

1. Stumbling others...stumbling others... yes, I must admit that gosh dang it, I flippin said some naughty words and one of my brothers began to say the same gosh darn words, and before you flippin know it, he was droppin "f" bombs. A couple of weeks later I caught him looking at internet porn, and now he is addicted to heroin and worshiping satan, all cause I dagnabit said shit. Oh doo doo, I hope you don't wind up renouncing Christ and becoming drug addicted now.

2. Yeah, thats me. I am always trying to look hip with my tattoos, and my slicked back hair doo, and my post punk uniform. Has nothing to do with the guy I was when I got saved, I am just trying to look cool... by speaking like a normal human being. How silly of me, I should be much less silly... Like this:



Perhaps I speak the way I do because that is the way I speak??? Because that is the way my neighbors speak, and that by trying to speak like Ned Flanders I actually am sounding like a self righteous dork? Now don't get me wrong, I refrain from language that is racist, sexual, sexist, or calling people names. But saying shit, instead of doodie, well that isn't me being cool, that is me not being silly!

3. Being a good example of pastor would mean hiding the language that is in my head? pretending to be something I am not? Not expressing myself to the fullest of my possibilities? Being something higher, more above, holier than those I am in community with? Yeah, well I don't want to be any of those things anyways

4. Let me get a bit more serious here. Jesus, nor Paul ever give us a list of words that you can't say on television. There is no list of naughty words, but there are numerous commands to watch your mouth. My question is, have you ever really looked at what those admonitions are saying? Most are about gossip, slander, divisiveness and other such practices that have nothing to do with the naughty word list. I have done some intense research, and when Paul gets a bit more exhaustive about his list of things we should not let our tongue be about: eph 5 ³ But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; ⁴ and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. In context of the passage, and in context of the Greek words, Paul is speaking quite clearly about, sexual joking, jesting, flirting and innuendo. None of which you need a naughty word to do. My "slander" of Mark Driscoll, was much more pushing the envelope of grace than any word I use. And if you actually do a little digging around, you will be shocked at some of the phrases that Paul and Jesus use when describing their opponents. Your personal piety would be much better served by a desire to speak words of encouragement to those who speak the truth in love, than in making naughty word lists.

And in the end, let me confront this ridiculous focus on stupid things like cuss words. Let me start, with a quote from Anthony Campolo

“[According to a profile in Christianity Today entitled] The Positive Prophet, ... I have three things I'd like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don't give a shit. What's worse is that you're more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night.”

Tony Campolo quote

In this message Tony addressed the problems with a moralistic focus on things that serve to give us a feeling of personal piety, while allowing us to ignore issues that are truly on God's heart. Whats more important? 30,000 starving children or a cuss word? In a world where "Christian marriages" end 50% of the time, we are really going to worry about the difference between shit and doo doo in the spoken or written word? In a world where high profile pastor after pastor goes down in flames for adultery, and churches are mired in controversy over protecting child molesting ministers, we are going to address the appropriateness of the word ass? When gay children are being bullied til they commit suicide, people are being sold into sex slavery, and thousands of people are dying in a drug war in Mexico you think God is really concerned about the cultural acceptance of a word or not?

I live in a country where the vast majority of the Christian church has a problem with me using the modern vernacular of the day, while they support the continued killing of not only soldiers, but innocent women and children (conveniently called collateral damage), of brown people far away from home. I scream what the FUCK is wrong with this picture??? Wake up people of God, and get on with Justice and Mercy, and Humility before God.

Now should we worry about personal holiness? Of course, and if you feel cussing is a sin, then by all mean don't do it. But don't dump your doo doo on me.

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Modern Day Saints (Ray Barbee)

Watch this guy skate!!! He revolutionized skating. Before Ray, there were lots of guys that did amazing tricks. Gnarly guys like Duane Peters and Tony Alva that rode like they were fighting with the pool or ramp. Smooth gymnast like guys who do amazing acrobatic stunts like Tony Hawk and Mike McGill. You had the insane weird street stuff like Gonzo and Natas, and then the unparalleled trickstering of Rodney Mullins. But it was mostly, trick, set up, other trick, set up and then another trick. What Ray did was different, it was like, "I am just going across the neighborhood, but doing it in style" His tricks were awesome, but looked so simple because of his cruising type of style. He made skating into transportation, not just skills.

But what is amazing, is that with all his fame, and notoriety, he is quite literally the nicest guy I have ever met. He is so humble, and friendly, and always has a smile for someone. I would go skating with him, and he would inspire awe in everyone. Yet he would stop and sign boards, talk to kids, teach them tricks, and my favorite bit he would encourage them and cheer them on. When he got tired he would often sit off to the side and just read his pocket sized new testament. He talked about Jesus and the bible all the time, almost spoke in scriptures, but it seemed so natural, and normal when he did it. Everyone knew he was a follower of Jesus, and they thought it was cool. He made me want to be more like Jesus, because surely, this is what Jesus was like.

I remember one day he was on the mini pipe with me, and he was learning to do some insanely hard trick, four feet in the air over the pipe. I was relearning a simple little trick on the edge of the ramp. And he said, "we aren't leaving til we both land these" and we skated for over and hour, just him and I, encouraging each other. It was awesome.

Ray isn't that smiley faced boy anymore. He is a man, with a family. He is in his mid thirties and still gets paid to skateboard, but he is realizing that he needs to move on. Looks like his next careers are music and photography. Doesn't seem fair, why doesn't he have to have a real job... ever? But because its Ray, you just are so happy for him.

If you ever see a guy with a skateboard by his side, a small pocket sized bible open in his lap, a big smile for all to see, it just might be Ray Barbee. When I think of what Jesus was like... I usually think of Ray.

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Ten Things I would say to the Church (if they listened to me)

1. Love God, love one another, love your neighbor, everyone is your neighbor. The message of Jesus is that we are to love everyone as if they are the most important people in our life. Even family dynamics should not get in the way of our love for others

2. What you do (orthopraxy) is as important, if not more important as what you believe (orthodoxy) We need to be people that follow Jesus example, and teachings, even if we don't completely understand everything. Remember Paul said we see through a distorted glass, with dark tint now. Anyone who has it all figured out is a bit of an ego maniac (like me)

3. Stop trying to get the world to come into your church, and get your church (the people of God's kingdom community) to get into the world. The answer to the worlds problem, including its lack of Christ, is Christ in the world. We are to follow Jesus into the places inhabited by the poor and broken and despised, not call them to us.

4. Christ is the center of our faith, not the bible. For sure the bible tells us of Christ, and this is its function. But we must start our hermeneutic with Christ, we must start our discipleship with Christ, we must start our dogma with Christ. For Christ alone is the author and finisher, the beginning and end, the way the truth and the life, the exact representation of God. The bible game (tm) does not work. (the bible game is he who has the most scriptures with their addresses, taken out of context to support their argument wins) We are to be disciples of the WORD, with the word, illuminates by the Spirit of Jesus.

5. The church is not to reflect the worlds hierarchical structure. Israel sinned in asking for a king "like the other nations have" By being married to this structure we both create a system that infantalizes some, elevates others, and becomes the sin of our age (consumerism). Every joint supplies, and all gifts are used when we stop the top down ministry, and embrace the egalitarian nature of God's kingdom.

6. Bigger is not better Jesus was so explicit about this it hurts. The kingdom of God is like a bit of hidden leaven. The kingdom of God is like a tiny little mustard seed. Jesus never neglected the masses, but he never trusted himself to them. We need not do great things, but small things with great love- Mother Teresa

7. In following Jesus we continue in his path, his ascension provided a comma, not a period. What am I talking about? Jesus fought against the religious leaders and structures that marginalized people for being sick, being female, and for being heretics. We don't stop there, but we continue to follow his lead. We don't say, well this is what Jesus said and accomplished for equality for women, so we will accept that but no further. We should be on the cutting edge of empowering the disempowered. We should be fighting for the rights of those that are oppressed, even if they are (gasp) muslim, gay, or drug addicts. Following Jesus means continuing the revolution, not considering it done.

8. There is no such thing as a Christian nation, and even if there was America was never it. The church married to the state is the destruction of the church. Our kingdom is not of this world.

9. There is, with absolutely no doubt, a bias in the gospels towards the poor and the marginalized. The church needs to locate itself with this in mind. Not to reach down from a place of power, but to recognize itself, as neighbor, friend, and fellow desperately needy, follower of God

10. Love God, love one another, love your neighbor, everyone is your neighbor. The message of Jesus is that we are to love everyone as if they are the most important people in our life. Even family dynamics should not get in the way of our love for others. (oh did I say this already? yeah I suppose I did) The way of the cross is a way that says, "I love you so much I will give my life and death for you, all of you"

please understand that I am the church too, so I say this to my self as well

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theology (my doctrine is bigger than your doctrine)

I am an insecure man, that wants to be liked. I want to be respected more than I want to be liked. And, to be honest, I actually do care about what my peers think about me. I like to believe that I am capable of acting beyond this sinful limitation, but sometimes I don't.

For instance, I will often name drop when discussing theology. It is an especially successful name drop if I can claim personal relationship with the person. Like, "my friend Alan Hirsch" Or "My mentor Ched Myers, or Neil Cole says" See, I just did it again. In other words, I am well read, and connected, and my thoughts are the thoughts of BIG people. They are BIG thoughts, and I am a BIG thinker. I read BIG books about BIG things. And my theology is right, and correct and you should agree with me.

Kind of reminds me of driving around in a really BIG truck.

But this is the problem, Christ chose a bunch of working class blokes, that most likely would not have known their way around any BIG theology tomes. Christ was not interested in the scribes, and all their BIG knowledge. He was interested in living BIG. Not wealthy BIG, but BIG in the understanding of God's kingdom. The early church was called the way, not the truth.

Lest someone get the wrong idea, I am not saying that knowledge is wrong. Nor that learning is not important. We must learn, and strive for understanding. But it is my contention that the way I live, is more important than what I think. Or even further, if my way of life is not in line with the way of the cross, I cannot even truly understand how to know, the truth. Correct practice is more important than correct knowledge, and in fact correct knowledge can only come from correct practice.

Let me give you a little example. We have two people in our community that do not believe in a personal God. Yet they believe in the teachings of Jesus. They are trying to live out these teachings, and are therefore part of our community. I would say they have the wrong doctrine, the wrong belief system. But they are feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, caring for the good earth. While many people that do believe the "right things" ignore the plight of the poor, and consume the resources of God's good creation with no thought. In our Western church mindset the one is damned, the other is saved, (though maybe not living out their discipleship as much as they should) But my question is who is truly being a disciple of Christ? Did the fishermen who followed Jesus understand the trinity? the various atonement theories? the basic ideologies of a Christian world view? Nope in fact even after the resurrection they were confused, "so, you gonna kick the Romans out now general Jesus" (my paraphrase)

So what is my point? Having all of your ideas about God right (and of course yours are right) does not make you a follower of Christ. Following Christ means walking the path of your own execution, for the sake of love, whether you understand it all or not.

And now for a really BIG name drop

Jesus said, "Love God, Love your Neighbor, and everyone is your neighbor" Love is an action word

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Any questions?

It seems that many people, from many backgrounds, have visited my blog to see this letter I created in a few minutes, to express my frustration with Mark Driscoll. But some of these people have looked at a few other posts, and have expressed some level of curiosity, or interest in my blog. Or since its an extension of me, me. So if you have any questions for me, about my life, ministry, or beliefs and practice, ask them here and I will answer them as well as I can.

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new discipline (silent prayer)

Silent prayer, or centering prayer, or silent meditation whatever you want to call it is what I have been trying to grow in my life. Twenty minutes every morning, I light a candle, and try to listen for that still small voice. To clear my mind of the clutter, and noise, and listen for God's breath, for God's whisper...

I suck at it. Can't go 10 seconds without my mind drifting off. I guess thats why they call it a discipline. I was better at pentecostal scream therapy prayer :)

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a new series modern day saints 1 (my wife Raquel)

Since I seemed to have gotten a million more hits for being a jerk than I ever did being less of a jerk, I thought I might try even harder to be more positive. I am starting a series where I will write a brief description of people who I admire greatly. And there is nobody I would be more happy to start with, than my wife Raquel.

There is a scene in As Good As It Gets, where Jack Nicholson's delightfully screwed up character unknowingly insults his love interest in the film (played brilliantly by Helen Hunt) she tells him if he doesn't give her a really good compliment she is going to leave:



Well, this is my wife. She makes me want to be a better man, and has made me want to be a better man for 23 years now. I have watched her invite battered women to come live with us, care for homeless drunk men, and sit and cry with teenagers that weren't even her own. I have known her to be incredibly sensitive to the Spirits leading, with discernment so spot on I tease her by calling it her voodoo. She has put up with, and even cherished a lifestyle that often leads us into financial and sometimes even physical insecurity. She sees the truths of scripture, and dances with them in a way that is awe inspiring. And then she plays music that teaches others to dance as well.

One time we were on our way back home and we saw two police cars outside the back of our jiu jitsu studio. We stopped to see what was up, and an elderly lady was crying, and screaming, and so upset. Her grandchild was at the studio where the child's father was a live in pro. The grandmother did not think it a proper environment for the young girl and was trying to take her away. She was so upset, and helpless. But the father, my friend, was not doing anything wrong, nor was the place unsafe, or improper (though a tad dirty). My wife sat in the car watching the scenario as I tried to see what was going on. She felt such empathy for the grandmother, and for the little girl, and for my friend. And she felt helpless. What can I do, there is too much need. These kinds of things are everywhere, the poor, the hungry, the helpless. I cannot stand under this oppression of need. Then my wonderful wife says, "the Spirit of God said to me, 'no you can't, but my church can, please get my church out of their buildings and back in the world'" And she has given her life to living that out.

My wife, is a saint. I am a lucky man.

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