I was taught two spiritual disciplines that have at times helped me to grow in my pursuit of a Christlike life. On the occasions where they did not help me it was because I did not practice them, not because they did not work.
The one I learned from a friend who shared his father in laws practice of "embracing my own confession". What this means is that before we act, especially in attempts at reconciliation, we must discern our own sin. The way we do this is to recognize that there is always our own sin that causes us to react in anger. "YOU WHO JUDGE ANOTHER DO THE SAME THING" When we can embrace our own confession, and seek God's forgiving mercy we can then in humility speak to another. In other words, deal with your own log, before dealing with the speck in your brothers eye.
The second I learned from, (gasp, dare I say it), my wife. To be fair she learned it from one of her friends, who learned it from someone else and I think they were all women so I shouldn't let them teach me, but in a moment of weakness I did. The discipline is this, when ever you say "so and so is a such and such" you follow it by "and so am I" So, "Mark is a judgmental jackass... and so am I"
The truth is, that was the point of my rant yesterday. I see in Mark, and in Marks depiction of "manliness" many of the traits that I am convicted of myself. I am judgmental. I am mean. I make fun of people that I differ with or disagree with. I am overbearing, rude, and obnoxious. I am prone to shouting, anger and even violence. I feel uncomfortable about expressions of sexuality that are different than my own. And I believe God wants to drive this sin from me, so that I, might be perfected in Love like Jesus was. Which is why when I see my sin reflected in others, it makes me angry. Easier to get angry at others than myself.
My point on Tuesday evening, was not that I am above Mark. But rather, in being a visible leader, Mark encourages a part of me that the Spirit is trying to discourage. Not so I can be less the strong, courageous, man I am, but that I would be tempered with goodness, kindness, gentleness and empathy. My letter was an attempt to give voice to this, and perhaps, help other tough guys to see a different way, and hear a different voice.
I do understand the idea that church in America can be ostracizing for some men, but it is also so for lgbt community, for anyone not of the same race as the church they go to, for people that are ADHD, ect. Mark often criticizes churches for compromising to be more palatable, yet isn't encouraging a male dominated, power based sexism a compromise to the 20-35 year old male demographic? Lets look at Christ for who he was, someone who breaks out of all of our boxes, strong, yet gentle, Non violent, let passionately zealous, loving and just.
rev
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Sometimes I get a bit disillusioned
So yesterday I put up a letter to Mark Driscoll. I have gotten more hits on my blog for that post than just about any post, ever, even though it has been up only 18 hours. The only exception, would be the post I put up expressing my anger over the nationalism and militarism expressed by Pastor Chuck Smith.
So, I put up videos of bible teachings, reflections on life, and really heartfelt sharing, and I get almost no feed back. But when I make a little controversy, when I stir up a little shit, when I act like what I am trying to overcome, I become in some little way popular. This is discouraging to me.
I get a bit disillusioned. I would hope I could be a beacon of light not just a Christian shock jock. I would hope we could encourage each other and pass around some love here and there. But the truth is I don't do it. I don't read many blogs myself, and when I do I often don't take the time to comment. If we want to be the change we want to see in the world, in the church, in social media... it requires action.
I want to be a man of action and reflection.
rev
So, I put up videos of bible teachings, reflections on life, and really heartfelt sharing, and I get almost no feed back. But when I make a little controversy, when I stir up a little shit, when I act like what I am trying to overcome, I become in some little way popular. This is discouraging to me.
I get a bit disillusioned. I would hope I could be a beacon of light not just a Christian shock jock. I would hope we could encourage each other and pass around some love here and there. But the truth is I don't do it. I don't read many blogs myself, and when I do I often don't take the time to comment. If we want to be the change we want to see in the world, in the church, in social media... it requires action.
I want to be a man of action and reflection.
rev
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
A letter to Pastor Mark
I have listened to you Pastor Mark for many years now. You are very bright, charismatic, and I think do some great things, but you usually aggravate me quite a bit. But in your latest facebook post talking about genetically male effeminate worship leaders, I just had to say something. The truth is, you probably won't ever read what I have to say, and if you do you will most likely laugh at what a sissified hippie I am.
Let me start by saying that you can call me John. Though I am a pastor, I am possibly not going to act as a pastor, nor do I need the title. Most people call me rev as an ironic nickname because I am so very different from their idea of a reverend. I am also going to call you Mark, because you have not been acting like a pastor either. You know, because of your undeniable intelligence, that pastor means shepherd. And part of the job of a shepherd is to keep the sheep in line to protect them from bad things. And sometimes a shepherd has to "man up" as you would say, and go fight the wolves that would tear apart the sheep. I am sure you are quite willing to do both of these things. But a shepherd does not belittle, mock, or injure sheep for looking different, for being weaker in some ways, or for not fitting in. And Mark, that has been what your bullying has done.
Your desire to be a manly man, and to stamp out this feminizing of the church, has not only been ill informed, and self serving, but is also hurting many people, and stumbling others like myself. You see mr tough manly man, things like gentleness, peace, and patience are all fruits of the Spirit, and I struggle to live those out even without you acting like they are girly traits.
Now let me, like Paul, set some things straight. When it comes to being a manly man, I am one of the manliest you will ever meet. I was born John, son of John, son of Jorgen I am 6'2" and 230 lbs of ass kicking muscle. I was a four year letterman in wrestling. My nickname on the football team where I played defensive tackle was kamikaze. I skateboarded in swimming pools with no pads. I was in a punk rock gang.
I was a portuguese bullfighter from the age of 15 to 20 see picture above (not me but what I did for five years) I was a repo man, a bouncer, and a construction worker. I drive a Ford F150 am a brazilian jiu jitsu black belt, and a former pro mma fighter and coach. I have numerous tattoos. I have fathered two children, no sons so I am sure I lose a few points there. I have planted or helped to plant 18 churches I share my faith freely, in many places. I am quite frankly a bad ass.
This is the problem Mark, though all of these qualities can be used for good, for most of mankind they have been used for bad. They have been used to have power over others, to kill others, to keep others in their place, (which is always below us). And this is the kind of behavior you encourage. Make fun of others, exalt strength when Christ humbled himself. Stand over others especially women, when Christ, though God, relied on women for support, showed himself to them first, and depended on them as his only witnesses on the cross (cept for a teenager). Instead of being numbered with the sinners, the traitors, the drunks heretics and outcasts like Christ did, you ridicule and damn them.
But the biggest temptation you put on me, is to take you up on your manly man thing. In my flesh I want to fly up to Seattle and have a cage match followed by a theology debate. And after beating you ugly and stupid, I could then in your concussed state overcome your superior intellect and smart assed comments in a debate was well.
Unfortunately, I follow the hippie, non violent, love your enemy Jesus, that would rather die for you than kick your ass. I really hope you meet Him some day, because the guy you are following is just who you wish you could be when you grow up.
john
Last Night...
Our community meets on Mondays for a communal meal, and some discussion around the bible. This last night my wife lead the discussion time, but rather than continue on in Matthew, we reflected on what we had focused on at our last time together.
Last community meal we looked at the famous story of Jesus dealing with the issue of taxation. But looked at it from a different perspective than the usual, "be a good citizen, pay your taxes, and then be a good Christian too" Rather we looked at the radical, and very subversive message that Jesus showed in the passage, and then lived out in his life. It was all an issue of identity and idolatry. By placing value on idols, "graven images" the people of Israel were losing site of their own image and identity. Jesus shows in this passage that money, bears the image of empire, and is therefore by its very being aligned with, and an idol for empire. But we, are image bearers of the creator of the universe. We are made in the image and likeness of God, and called very good. And we should worry about handing over our own selves to God, and don't worry about a worthless idol to a kingdom we do not belong to.
Well, enough of my preaching. Raquel lead us to look at this issue of identity and image bearing. She had us write on labels, who we identified ourselves as. I wrote, father, husband, son, black belt (yes I am a bit vain) construction worker. And who others identified us as, I wrote pastor, theologian. And then we were invited to write labels and place them on the other people in the room. Raquel then had us share what was stuck to our bodies, the labels of our own and others. The images that had been placed upon us.
She then read the account of humankind's creation. She read in Pauls epistles that we are neither Jew, or Greek, or male or female, or slave or free. She went further and said we are neither gay nor straight, white nor black, vegan nor carnivore. And she invited us to take all of our labels off, and to sit in silence for a while and just be...
the image of God
together
it was beautiful
rev
Last community meal we looked at the famous story of Jesus dealing with the issue of taxation. But looked at it from a different perspective than the usual, "be a good citizen, pay your taxes, and then be a good Christian too" Rather we looked at the radical, and very subversive message that Jesus showed in the passage, and then lived out in his life. It was all an issue of identity and idolatry. By placing value on idols, "graven images" the people of Israel were losing site of their own image and identity. Jesus shows in this passage that money, bears the image of empire, and is therefore by its very being aligned with, and an idol for empire. But we, are image bearers of the creator of the universe. We are made in the image and likeness of God, and called very good. And we should worry about handing over our own selves to God, and don't worry about a worthless idol to a kingdom we do not belong to.
Well, enough of my preaching. Raquel lead us to look at this issue of identity and image bearing. She had us write on labels, who we identified ourselves as. I wrote, father, husband, son, black belt (yes I am a bit vain) construction worker. And who others identified us as, I wrote pastor, theologian. And then we were invited to write labels and place them on the other people in the room. Raquel then had us share what was stuck to our bodies, the labels of our own and others. The images that had been placed upon us.
She then read the account of humankind's creation. She read in Pauls epistles that we are neither Jew, or Greek, or male or female, or slave or free. She went further and said we are neither gay nor straight, white nor black, vegan nor carnivore. And she invited us to take all of our labels off, and to sit in silence for a while and just be...
the image of God
together
it was beautiful
rev
Monday, July 11, 2011
What is church
Yesterday I visited some friends and their community to discuss a bit of what it means to be church, and share some of my story. One young man said, "church is a group of people learning what it means to follow Jesus in their neighborhood" Or something to that effect. I thought it was a wonderful, simple, yet profound answer.
The church is not an event, where someone teaches us what it means to follow Jesus, but rather a community, within which we learn by doing, by acting out the gospel, by being the extension of Jesus life, here and now. This is what being the church is.
As the three or four of you that read this blog know, I am not one for moderation. As far as I am concerned we should tear down the whole structure, and start from the ruins. But revolution for its own sake will build the same crap, or even worse. What we must seek to become, is a community, of people drawn together by love, for love. What we must walk out is the messy, ugly, painful meaning of the kingdom of heaven.
Lets start with being the change we want to see in the church
rev
The church is not an event, where someone teaches us what it means to follow Jesus, but rather a community, within which we learn by doing, by acting out the gospel, by being the extension of Jesus life, here and now. This is what being the church is.
As the three or four of you that read this blog know, I am not one for moderation. As far as I am concerned we should tear down the whole structure, and start from the ruins. But revolution for its own sake will build the same crap, or even worse. What we must seek to become, is a community, of people drawn together by love, for love. What we must walk out is the messy, ugly, painful meaning of the kingdom of heaven.
Lets start with being the change we want to see in the church
rev
Friday, July 01, 2011
twelve weeks of dieting and exercise
so here is my before pics
and after pics
pretty happy with the results, but I am not close to done. Taking the weekend off for my birthday and then back at it.
john
Sunday, March 27, 2011
I met Jesus on the train
This is from 6.5 years ago
Was going to a youth group to speak, and as is my custom here in Australia I got on the train. Went a few stops and had to switch trains at Spencer st station. Waiting for my next train I saw Jesus sitting there waiting for the same train.
He was drunk, cussing at people, muttering under his breath and smoking. He took long pulls off of his liter beer bottle. Everyone tried to stay out of his way. I was staying close just in case he did something stupid. His nose had been broken a few times it seemed so I was ready to step in and defend the public if necessary.
He got on the same train, and I made sure I sat in the same carriage to ensure Jesus didn't get unruly or hurt anyone. He made some remarks, and tried to talk to some people around him, but they got up and moved to a different part of the train. I was, trying to think about my sermon that night, but was keeping one eye on him the whole time.
I wasn't really sure what to share. I thought about my sermon "why are you standing there gazing into the heavens", I was originally going to go with that one, but something didn't feel right. Then I was going to talk about the rich young ruler, the one I usually use at youth groups, but that seemed wrong too. I was thinking about the great white throne judgement, that one seemed like the right one. But I really couldn't zone in on it, because I was busy trying to keep an eye on this drunk.
A group of Asian young people came in and sat all around him. He wasn't happy. He was obviously a bit racist. He talked to them a bit, but they ignored him. I was getting ready to throw him off the train. He was smoking, which was not allowed and drinking, which is not allowed, and being beligerent which is...
not allowed.
At each station I scanned the platform for an attendant to "turn in" this obvious criminal to. Jesus didn't seem like someone anyone would want to hang out with. At the next station the kids all got up and switched to the next carriage on the train. He was furious, and was cussing and carrying on. I was getting ready to finally do something. He caughed, vomitted a little and then spilled his beer. More people moved to other seats.
Then he turned around and started staring at me. I don't usually look away, and didn't this time. I was starting to wonder when it was gonna take off, but then I started to recognise him. Then my sermon started to remind me of who he was. He yelled at me, "where are we at" I told him where we were. He said "how long to Ringwood" I told him about thirty minutes, that was my stop as well. "my dad just died" And then I fully realised Jesus was on the train with me.
I got up and went and sat next to him. We talked a bit. He told me he had to carry his fathers coffin, and he carried his mothers a few years earlier. He rolled another cigarette. He started complaining about the kids that moved to the other carriage. "I didn't f*ckin do nothin to them, they don't have no respect, you're a good bloke john" His name was John as well as mine. "the two johns" he said.
He told me about how he was a builder, and worked his whole life. He admitted he had a drinking problem, but he said, "they don't know what happened to me, my dad died, and no one will talk to me, except you, you're a good bloke" I could only reply, "thanks mate".
I held the door for him at the train station, he took a long time to stagger off. I walked with him up the ramp to make sure he was okay. He told me thanks for talking to him, I thanked him for sitting with me. I told him to take care of himself, and he said the same. We shook hands and I looked deep into his eyes, I saw my creator there. Jesus said to me, "aw f*ck this, give us a cuddle" So I stood on the train platform hugging Jesus. A white, broken nosed, drunk, racist, smelly Jesus, who was going by the name of John today. I walked away crying.
"WHATEVER YOU DO, FOR THE LEAST OF THESE, YOU HAVE DONE IT UNTO ME"
I hope you see Jesus today, I rode the train with him.
the rev
Was going to a youth group to speak, and as is my custom here in Australia I got on the train. Went a few stops and had to switch trains at Spencer st station. Waiting for my next train I saw Jesus sitting there waiting for the same train.
He was drunk, cussing at people, muttering under his breath and smoking. He took long pulls off of his liter beer bottle. Everyone tried to stay out of his way. I was staying close just in case he did something stupid. His nose had been broken a few times it seemed so I was ready to step in and defend the public if necessary.
He got on the same train, and I made sure I sat in the same carriage to ensure Jesus didn't get unruly or hurt anyone. He made some remarks, and tried to talk to some people around him, but they got up and moved to a different part of the train. I was, trying to think about my sermon that night, but was keeping one eye on him the whole time.
I wasn't really sure what to share. I thought about my sermon "why are you standing there gazing into the heavens", I was originally going to go with that one, but something didn't feel right. Then I was going to talk about the rich young ruler, the one I usually use at youth groups, but that seemed wrong too. I was thinking about the great white throne judgement, that one seemed like the right one. But I really couldn't zone in on it, because I was busy trying to keep an eye on this drunk.
A group of Asian young people came in and sat all around him. He wasn't happy. He was obviously a bit racist. He talked to them a bit, but they ignored him. I was getting ready to throw him off the train. He was smoking, which was not allowed and drinking, which is not allowed, and being beligerent which is...
not allowed.
At each station I scanned the platform for an attendant to "turn in" this obvious criminal to. Jesus didn't seem like someone anyone would want to hang out with. At the next station the kids all got up and switched to the next carriage on the train. He was furious, and was cussing and carrying on. I was getting ready to finally do something. He caughed, vomitted a little and then spilled his beer. More people moved to other seats.
Then he turned around and started staring at me. I don't usually look away, and didn't this time. I was starting to wonder when it was gonna take off, but then I started to recognise him. Then my sermon started to remind me of who he was. He yelled at me, "where are we at" I told him where we were. He said "how long to Ringwood" I told him about thirty minutes, that was my stop as well. "my dad just died" And then I fully realised Jesus was on the train with me.
I got up and went and sat next to him. We talked a bit. He told me he had to carry his fathers coffin, and he carried his mothers a few years earlier. He rolled another cigarette. He started complaining about the kids that moved to the other carriage. "I didn't f*ckin do nothin to them, they don't have no respect, you're a good bloke john" His name was John as well as mine. "the two johns" he said.
He told me about how he was a builder, and worked his whole life. He admitted he had a drinking problem, but he said, "they don't know what happened to me, my dad died, and no one will talk to me, except you, you're a good bloke" I could only reply, "thanks mate".
I held the door for him at the train station, he took a long time to stagger off. I walked with him up the ramp to make sure he was okay. He told me thanks for talking to him, I thanked him for sitting with me. I told him to take care of himself, and he said the same. We shook hands and I looked deep into his eyes, I saw my creator there. Jesus said to me, "aw f*ck this, give us a cuddle" So I stood on the train platform hugging Jesus. A white, broken nosed, drunk, racist, smelly Jesus, who was going by the name of John today. I walked away crying.
"WHATEVER YOU DO, FOR THE LEAST OF THESE, YOU HAVE DONE IT UNTO ME"
I hope you see Jesus today, I rode the train with him.
the rev
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
well so much for my plans
been a busy new years so far, between some extra work and some trips to the hospital, kidney stone related, I have not had much time to record a video or write. But I have the best of intentions.
rev
rev
Saturday, January 01, 2011
2011
I have decided to start the new Year off with at least a few months clear of Facebook and Twitter. I am also going to start a diet and work out plan with the goal of getting to better health in the new year. But I have also realized that both in my work and in my ministry I have allowed life to happen rather than taking initiative. I am hoping to start a discipline of both study and writing for the next year.
My goal will also to regularly post here, including my videos which I have slacked off on.
I would like to thank my community in Long Beach for all the love and acceptance over the past year. I would like to express my thankfulness for my best friend and confidant Chris Wight coming to live with us soon. I am thankful for the friends I have made this last year especially the Outlaw Preachers . I am thankful for the amazing mentors I have had both in the past and in the present with particular memory of Bud Suitor who passed recently, and Ched Myers, Neil Cole and Sean Ferill. And I would like to say thanks for some co conspirators in Christi and Kevin Bowman, and Geoff and Sherry Maddox, as well as Khad and the crew at Metamorphosis and the wonderful Al and Deb Hirsch and friends at LA Tribe.
May this arbitrary designation of time, be filled with the coming of God's non violent kingdom
woo hoo
rev
My goal will also to regularly post here, including my videos which I have slacked off on.
I would like to thank my community in Long Beach for all the love and acceptance over the past year. I would like to express my thankfulness for my best friend and confidant Chris Wight coming to live with us soon. I am thankful for the friends I have made this last year especially the Outlaw Preachers . I am thankful for the amazing mentors I have had both in the past and in the present with particular memory of Bud Suitor who passed recently, and Ched Myers, Neil Cole and Sean Ferill. And I would like to say thanks for some co conspirators in Christi and Kevin Bowman, and Geoff and Sherry Maddox, as well as Khad and the crew at Metamorphosis and the wonderful Al and Deb Hirsch and friends at LA Tribe.
May this arbitrary designation of time, be filled with the coming of God's non violent kingdom
woo hoo
rev
Sunday, November 28, 2010
In memory of my friend, mentor, spiritual father Pastor John "buddy" Suitor
Not very often in life, you will come across someone that changes not only your life, but the way you look at life. If you are lucky, you will meet someone that makes you want to become a better human being. But if you are incredibly lucky, you will meet someone that not only makes you want to be better, but is so encouraging, and loving, and instructive that you actually believe you can be a better person, and have the courage to try. Buddy Suitor was that kind of man.
Bud met me when I was very young, and in that way he has, made me feel instantly at home. I wasn't a strange young man he just met, but like a distant cousin welcomed into a family. He and his own pastor Butch Pluimer, took me under their wing and trained me to be a minister of Jesus to a hurting world. Everything I learned, I learned from Buddy. It was Bud that not only taught me how to preach, but gave me my first opportunity. It was at Bud's side that I learned to comfort and pray for the sick. Buddy helped me prepare for my first funeral. He taught me how to do weddings, and was the one to marry my wife and I. He taught me to be a good husband and father, and encouraged me to be a good pastor. Probably the most important lesson in my life, I learned from bud, that people matter more than anything else. People matter more than programs, more than success, or tasks, people are important to God. Especially the people that are not important to the powers that be in this world.
If it wasn't for Buddy my wife and I would never have taken in homeless teenagers, cared for mentally ill people in our neighborhood or helped people escape the bondage of drugs or alcohol. Hosted weekly bbq's for homeless punk rockers, or breakfasts for hung over ravers. Bud started us on a journey, that has lead us to question everything, and measure it by the idea "is this good news for the poor, and marginalized".
Bud also gave me a great love and respect for the scriptures. He loved the bible, and whenever I told a story or quoted a verse he could give me its address, and vice versa. He almost memorized the whole thing. And when I would come to him for council, he would almost always tell a story straight from its pages, and it always gave me direction and encouragement.
He taught me to trust God's leading, and be in tune with the Spirit.
Bud pastored a relatively small church, in a smaller community in Southern California, but his influence is far far greater. Many of the pastors in Corona would probably call buddy their pastor, if not one of their primary counselors. Buddy worked with the police department and mayors office on a number of issues. And headed up the homeless ministries and soup kitchen in the city. In addition to this, many of the men he inspired at camps, retreats or even directly discipled like myself, are serving the Lord all over the country. So I guess that's another lesson, do not despise small things. This mans influence was huge.
I look at his passing with much sadness. I also must admit to some guilt and regret that I did not take advantage of seeing him as much as I could have, especially in the last year. I will miss him so much. But there are two things that give me hope, the one is I believe that I will see him again "though I am not planning on it being soon". The second is, that his life lives on in my heart, and in the hearts of all he touched.
I also realize two responsibilities. The first is to take better advantage of the opportunities to love and cherish the people in our life. The second is to continue on in the way Bud showed me, to be a light to the world. Jesus came not only to save us for heaven, but to save us in the now, and buddy walked out his salvation, I hope I can do it even half as well as he did.
Finally I would like to share a story, which shows what a great man Bud was:
I was a youth pastor, trying to save the youth of Corona and figured the best way was with music. So I talked to Bud and the elders of our church and got them to finance a concert featuring one of the more popular Christian rock bands of the time. I explained how I expected their money to be earned back by ticket sales, and how this was a great opportunity to minister to the kids. The elders agreed to put up the cash and the concert went on. It was an amazing night but we lost about $400 or $500 dollars. At the next elders meeting I came in very sheepishly, and embarrassed, informed them all that we had not recouped all of the money, and had lost about $400. Buddy said, "no we didn't"
"yes we did, I have all the figures right here"
"no we did not lose $400 john, we have invested $400 in the youth of this city"
Buddy, I love you, I will see you again probably before I am ready, until then I will try and live up to your example.
rev
Bud met me when I was very young, and in that way he has, made me feel instantly at home. I wasn't a strange young man he just met, but like a distant cousin welcomed into a family. He and his own pastor Butch Pluimer, took me under their wing and trained me to be a minister of Jesus to a hurting world. Everything I learned, I learned from Buddy. It was Bud that not only taught me how to preach, but gave me my first opportunity. It was at Bud's side that I learned to comfort and pray for the sick. Buddy helped me prepare for my first funeral. He taught me how to do weddings, and was the one to marry my wife and I. He taught me to be a good husband and father, and encouraged me to be a good pastor. Probably the most important lesson in my life, I learned from bud, that people matter more than anything else. People matter more than programs, more than success, or tasks, people are important to God. Especially the people that are not important to the powers that be in this world.
If it wasn't for Buddy my wife and I would never have taken in homeless teenagers, cared for mentally ill people in our neighborhood or helped people escape the bondage of drugs or alcohol. Hosted weekly bbq's for homeless punk rockers, or breakfasts for hung over ravers. Bud started us on a journey, that has lead us to question everything, and measure it by the idea "is this good news for the poor, and marginalized".
Bud also gave me a great love and respect for the scriptures. He loved the bible, and whenever I told a story or quoted a verse he could give me its address, and vice versa. He almost memorized the whole thing. And when I would come to him for council, he would almost always tell a story straight from its pages, and it always gave me direction and encouragement.
He taught me to trust God's leading, and be in tune with the Spirit.
Bud pastored a relatively small church, in a smaller community in Southern California, but his influence is far far greater. Many of the pastors in Corona would probably call buddy their pastor, if not one of their primary counselors. Buddy worked with the police department and mayors office on a number of issues. And headed up the homeless ministries and soup kitchen in the city. In addition to this, many of the men he inspired at camps, retreats or even directly discipled like myself, are serving the Lord all over the country. So I guess that's another lesson, do not despise small things. This mans influence was huge.
I look at his passing with much sadness. I also must admit to some guilt and regret that I did not take advantage of seeing him as much as I could have, especially in the last year. I will miss him so much. But there are two things that give me hope, the one is I believe that I will see him again "though I am not planning on it being soon". The second is, that his life lives on in my heart, and in the hearts of all he touched.
I also realize two responsibilities. The first is to take better advantage of the opportunities to love and cherish the people in our life. The second is to continue on in the way Bud showed me, to be a light to the world. Jesus came not only to save us for heaven, but to save us in the now, and buddy walked out his salvation, I hope I can do it even half as well as he did.
Finally I would like to share a story, which shows what a great man Bud was:
I was a youth pastor, trying to save the youth of Corona and figured the best way was with music. So I talked to Bud and the elders of our church and got them to finance a concert featuring one of the more popular Christian rock bands of the time. I explained how I expected their money to be earned back by ticket sales, and how this was a great opportunity to minister to the kids. The elders agreed to put up the cash and the concert went on. It was an amazing night but we lost about $400 or $500 dollars. At the next elders meeting I came in very sheepishly, and embarrassed, informed them all that we had not recouped all of the money, and had lost about $400. Buddy said, "no we didn't"
"yes we did, I have all the figures right here"
"no we did not lose $400 john, we have invested $400 in the youth of this city"
Buddy, I love you, I will see you again probably before I am ready, until then I will try and live up to your example.
rev
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