Wednesday, April 27, 2005

poor winston

I write this in shame.

Yesterday, I betrayed a trust. I severed a bond, between man and his best friend, that may not be repairable.

Early in the morning I dressed, placed the beautiful studded collar upon my little buddy Winston, and invited him into the car. His exitement was undeniable. He was going for a ride with daddy, but he did not know the horror that his destination would bring. He sat there, smiling, wagging his tail, no actually wagging half his body. And I closed my heart, started the car and pulled out of the drive way.

As we traveled, we saw other dogs, and their best friends frollicking about. They were so happy. So united. Each happy couple was like a nail through my heart. Why couldn't I turn back? Why couldn't I just refuse? But I knew I couldn't I gritted my teeth, and continued, to the doggy hospital.

As I arrived, Winston jumped out of the car, and pulled me onward. The little guy was so brave. He burst through the door and immediately started tap dancing on the slippery wood floor. His legs going every which way in his finest impersonation of Gregory Hines. A giant labrador joined him immediately, and towered above him. And they were off on a tail wagging contest of epic scale. They took some time to sniff each others butts, and became instantly best friends. However, I knew this Labrador was really no friend at all. But rather, the instrument of the devil, sent to lull Winston into a false sense of security, and into the arms of the cutter.

I am sure he was telling Winston in his doggy parlance, oh its great here, you'll have a wonderful time, don't worry about a thing. Oh what treason.

And then the cutter arrived. The fake smile gleamed white through her spagetti style hair. I shivered at the false love she showed to my little boy. She reeked of patuli oil, and every word from her mouth was false. She dressed all in white, and reached out with giant, evil hands. The instruments of her torture, had made them muscley, almost mannish. And then I handed my little boy over to this heartless sadist. She laughed aloud and said, you can come back after three, I will be done with him by then.

And I walked out, numb, the betrayer.

Winston is back at home now. He is missing a few things. He seems sad. And I don't think he likes me anymore. I can't say i blame him.

the rev

5 comments:

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Anonymous said...

hey - my dog is called winston too!

very brave of the little fella just to get in the car with you. I've done that and nearly died!

hamo

Anonymous said...

Hey John,

how much does it suck when you have to take your best friend to have his "manhood" removed. I've done it once and I'm going to have to do it again in a few weeks with our new dog buckley!

Cya soon Dan

Darren aka Cherrypicker said...

I seriously laughed out loud. Poor bastard. Bet you are getting the evil eye now.

Troy said...

Hi John,

After reading about Winston, I feel your pain. And not to over spiritualise things, but it got me thinking about the church. When people come into the church as new Christians there is a real excitement and enthusiasm. Then often we, as the church, cut the spiritual balls off them as soon as we can. We do this I think because it has been done to us and we cant handle the over exuberance shown by these new Christians. Instead of nurturing it we want them to be like us, dull uninspired and impotent. Balls are what creates life. If we cut them off we wont have life. I think alot of churches are filled with eunuchs!