Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Well, just incase any of you don't know that quote, it was a quote delivered by Jack Nicholson. The setting was a court room, and Tom (I am actually insane) Cruise was interogating the high ranking military officer played by Jack. Cruise' character realizes that the colonel will incriminate himself if given enough rope and sets about giving him that rope. The colonel is accused of ordering his troops to deliver some military justice to a young marine, that winds up dying from the abuse. He is an arrogant, intense, and very focused man. And he doesn't like this young punk lawyer disrespecting him.

At one point he needs to tell everyone what he is there for:

Son, we live in a world that has walls.
And those walls have to be guarded by men
with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You,
Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater
responsibility than you can possibly
fathom. You weep for Santiago and you
curse the marines. You have that luxury.
You have the luxury of not knowing what I
know: That Santiago's death, while tragic,
probably saved lives. And my existence,
while grotesque and incomprehensible to
you, saves lives.

You don't want the truth. Because deep
down, in places you don't talk about at
parties, you want me on that wall. You need me
We use words like honor, code,
loyalty...we use these words as the
backbone to a life spent defending
something. You use 'em as a punchline.
I have neither the time nor the
inclination to explain myself to a man who
rises and sleeps under the blanket of the
very freedom I provide, then questions the
manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer
you just said thank you and went on your
way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a
weapon and stand a post. Either way, I
don't give a damn what you think you're
entitled to.

Well, I had a bit of a difficult bit of self realization this morning. I act
like this sometimes. I say, "well I am an intense guy, I am the guy who will
say the things other people don't want to say, I am the ugly, mean, prophetic,
monster that is going to save everyone" What a crock of shit. I am an insecure
little man that wants his daddy to be proud of him. And this is how I try to
be a man, because as much as I know in my head that this is not true, I think
men are supposed to be harsh, fearless, unapologetic and warriors. Jesus wasn't
like Colonel Jessup, and I am not supposed to be either.

God help me.



Rebecca said...

Ouch...I hate realising stuff, it sucks. It hurts, and needs to be dealt with carefully...if you're anything like me, you're not half bad at beating yourself up and reducing yourself to a quivering mess of self-loathing. Please don't do that - you're a very special bloke (and yes I still think you're a bloke, and being unapologetic is a sign of weakness, not strength).

Kansas Bob said...

I think that there is a bit of Jessup in all of us.