YOU NEED ME ON THAT WALL!!!

Well, just incase any of you don't know that quote, it was a quote delivered by Jack Nicholson. The setting was a court room, and Tom (I am actually insane) Cruise was interogating the high ranking military officer played by Jack. Cruise' character realizes that the colonel will incriminate himself if given enough rope and sets about giving him that rope. The colonel is accused of ordering his troops to deliver some military justice to a young marine, that winds up dying from the abuse. He is an arrogant, intense, and very focused man. And he doesn't like this young punk lawyer disrespecting him.

At one point he needs to tell everyone what he is there for:

            JESSEP
                           (continuing)
                  Son, we live in a world that has walls.
                  And those walls have to be guarded by men
                  with guns.  Who's gonna do it? You?  You,
                  Lt.  Weinberg?  I have a greater
                  responsibility than you can possibly
                  fathom.  You weep for Santiago and you
                  curse the marines.  You have that luxury.
                  You have the luxury of not knowing what I
                  know: That Santiago's death, while tragic,
                  probably saved lives.  And my existence,
                  while grotesque and incomprehensible to
                  you, saves lives.



                           (beat)
                  You don't want the truth.  Because deep
                  down, in places you don't talk about at
                  parties, you want me on that wall.  You need me
                  there
                           (boasting)
                  We use words like honor, code,
                  loyalty...we use these words as the
                  backbone to a life spent defending
                  something.  You use 'em as a punchline.
                           (beat)
                  I have neither the time nor the
                  inclination to explain myself to a man who
                  rises and sleeps under the blanket of the
                  very freedom I provide, then questions the
                  manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer
                  you just said thank you and went on your
                  way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a
                  weapon and stand a post.  Either way, I
                  don't give a damn what you think you're
                  entitled to.

Well, I had a bit of a difficult bit of self realization this morning. I act
like this sometimes. I say, "well I am an intense guy, I am the guy who will
say the things other people don't want to say, I am the ugly, mean, prophetic,
monster that is going to save everyone" What a crock of shit. I am an insecure
little man that wants his daddy to be proud of him. And this is how I try to
be a man, because as much as I know in my head that this is not true, I think
men are supposed to be harsh, fearless, unapologetic and warriors. Jesus wasn't
like Colonel Jessup, and I am not supposed to be either.

God help me.

rev