well its my birthday

Sorry I haven't written much recently. I have been busy, and just not inspired. I guess I am saving all of my inspiration for the FORGE national summit this weekend. Hope to see some of you there.

I am thirty nine today. My beard has a lot of grey in it. I groan whenever I move. I have taken to long periods of time in the toilet, which I now call the library. I complain about the "new music" and the "new looks". And I am grumpy a lot. I guess I am officially old.

But then again, I am actively trying to learn a new sport. I am possibly going to fight again. I have an insane hope that we can actually make this world a better place, and end much of our poverty, violence, and stupidity. I think the church of Jesus can rise up and become what it was in the book of Acts. And I get a crazy thrill when I see good art, an amazing catch, someone stepping beyond themeselves to do something great, or someone finding something inside of themeselves that they didn't know was there.

I am getting older, more cynical, maybe even a little wiser, but I am also exciteable, enthusiastic and hopeful. If this is my midlife crisis, I hope it lasts a long time.

Anyone know where I can buy a Harley, and find a cute twenty year old?

:)

the rev

latest art piece

This is a cross I made for Red Network, this is the church my house church a part of. Their logo is a cross that is made up of five squares and I used that as my reference. Their slogan is red = Jesus + life The four on the left and down the middle are symbols of our lives having been washed clean, and the scars and imperfections show reveal Gods washing in the blood. The one on the right shows that we are still on the way, we are not perfected yet, and we need Gods constant cleansing.

All of my pieces all symbolize the wounds and scars that life places on all of us. But they also show how it is these flaws that makes us unique, and Gods redemptive purpose that makes these unique wounds become what makes us beautiful. Each of my paintings are just plaster on wood painted with coat after coat of acrylic paint, sanded with very fine paper, and then polished with a bare hand for sometimes hours to bring up a very strong shine. This symbolizes to me Gods constant polishing of us until we are a work of His art, unique, wounded, flawed, and made beautiful by his hand.







this one shows the sheen and texture of the pieces. My work doesn't photogragh really well, as it is very shiney, textured, and sculptural. It is also meant to be touched having been polished with the bare hand. When you see it you quite naturally want to touch them.

the rev

What do the warriors do now?

When I saw The Kingdom of Heaven there were a bunch of charectors. Some were very cool, some were bad cliche's, some were really disturbing. There was one guy I really liked, I call him the smiling priest, he was a warrior, and yet seemed a philosopher and a truly spiritual man. He ended up without his head. There was one guy that I liked, but for all the wrong reasons. He was a huge man, crazy, and war like. He was scared of nothing. When asked to make a way, he responded, "that is what I do". In another section he exclaimed, "I have to be me, who else would?" There was the two leaders trying to coexist and tame their passionate younger warriors. There was the political leader trying to keep the peace. There was the vocation priest who seemed more interested in his own position than in Godliness. So many interesting people.

I began wondering what I would be like in those times.

I guess that someone who was a bullfighter, a punker, a repo man and a pro fighter as well as an artist, pastor, and counsellor would not be able to remain a tradesman or a farmer. I would have gotten into more trouble for sure. But in that brutal time what would I have become. I hope I wouldn't have been that crazy war monger. I kind hope I would be like the smiling priest. But, I also thought about why are we so discontent now.

I recognize I am uncomfortable here in this time. My strong passionate nature is often off putting. My love for battle is suspicious to many. Yet, I am an anarchist and believe that war is wrong and all about power and money. Where does one such as me fit? Where do you fit? Isn't the modern world difficult to navigate?

My wife was just telling me she feels sorry for men. They are meant to be a paradox now. They are supposed to be manly, yet feminine. They are not supposed to be the cave man, unless that is needed for the moment. We spend our life trying to get in touch with our sensitive nurturing sides, yet deep inside many of us crave the adventure, and rush of competition. That is why sports is so important to us.

So what do the warriors do?

I'll let you know when I figure it out. For now I will go to battle on the pitch, with my weapon a spinning cricket ball.

the rev

It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad

So Tom, who had always been a good man, and followed GOd as best he could, though he never really decided on a church died while saving orphans in a fire at the local orphanage.

Upon arriving in heaven God said, well Tom, it is nice to finally have you here, but we need to find a place for you to stay. So he then takes Tom to visit all of the different neighborhoods of all of the different denominations, except one. After seeing them all, Tom say, "well God, they are all lovely places and it will be hard to choose which one to live in, but you didn't show me the (insert name of any church organization here) neighborhood"

"Well Tom, I can't show you that one, they think they are the only ones up here"

the rev

Church?

Yesterday when we gathered for our weekly gathering we did our usual breakfast thing. Pancakes, sausages, toast and crumpets. And then we moved into the sitting room for our "religious" section.

We could do anything at this time. Whoever is hosting the gathering leads the thing, and we do many different things. Today, one of our family showed a slide show about his recent trip to central America. He showed us the places he went, and commented on the architecture and the people in each place. Showed us one picture from far away of people that did not want their pictures taken for spiritual reasons.

There was no scripture, no worship, no discussion.

Just one of God's children, sharing about his life.

And yes that is church, and I grew.

the rev

fighting again

I don't do anything halfway. Well usually I don't.

When I became a Christian I went full bore. I read the bible from cover to cover. I gave up premarital sex, cigarettes, drinking and cussing. I cut my hair nice and got some sweaters. I went to church almost every day. I started reading Christian books, and even listened to Christian music, no matter how bad it was. I was gonna win an award for most fanatical convert.

Well I worked the night shift at the local fast food joint, was actually the manager. I would get home at 2 or 3 am and would sleep until 9 or so. I would then get something to eat and then go sit in the backyard and read my books or the bible. And I would get really into it.

But this one day my little brother was bugging me. He kept fighting with my other brother who was the youngest, and then he would come screaming out to me to enforce justice. I couldn't get my stupid brother to behave and he was keeping me from my bible reading. I wondered when my mom was going to come home to let me have some peace.

Well the baby brother came out again crying and I went inside and gave the older little brother a good bashing. I mean he was keeping me from my bible reading, couldn't he see that?

I went back to the bible after this, and for some reason I couldn't seem to get into it.

I hope I have grown a bit since then.

the rev

another fight

When I was a youth pastor I was trying to get along with the other youth pastors, and for the most part did alright. I had to keep my mouth shut a bit, and if you know me, that wasn't easy. They realized that I was a bit nuts and just tryed to humour me.

But I was developing a problem. I had really made an effort to talk to my kids about relationship evangelism. And sought very hard to not use guilt, shame and fear as a motivator. I wanted people to understand that sharing Jesus is based on the love we have for Jesus, and others, not because we were scared of hell, or felt guilty about our friends going there.

But every single summer and winter camp I went to ended with the evangelism sermon. At the height of the brain washing spectacle, when the kids were at their most vulnerable, the preacher would tell them essentially, "if you friends aren't Christians, and they die they will go to hell, and they will be burning in agony for ever screaming, 'why didn't you tell me'" In other words they will go to hell and it will be your fault.

I went to the next camp meeting and told the other youth pastors, "if this message is given again, I will never come back to another camp, Jesus didn't value our salvation so much that He came and insured it Himself, only to leave it in the hands of a bunch of jr. high school kids"

They didn't agree with me, but agreed to not give that message again.

I love winning :)

the rev

Joy and George of the Jungle

So yesterday we were talking about joy. We discussed how sometimes we can get suspicious of those seemingly eternally happy people, and how we make fun of the pep rally enthusiasm of some of the mega churches, yet inside we long to have that kind of joy.

We talked about how there is a difference between joy and happiness. Often happiness is fleeting, circumstance driven, and somewhat selfish. Yet joy can seem to transcend even our circumstances. It is a knowledge of a deeper truth, a sense that there is a plan, and even in our most dire places, we are still loved.

And we talked about our difficulty in actually expressing joy, and happiness. And that made me think of George of the Jungle.

There is a scene in GOTG that came instantly to mind when this was brought up. George is hanging out with Jane, and he is dancing like a lunatic. He is totally oblivious to the rest of the world and just letting go in reckless abandon. George then invites Jane to dance with him, and she says she doesn't dance. George is confused by this and asks why. She says, "because I would be embarassed"

His reply, "what means embarassed?"

She tries to explain it to him, but he doesn't seem to get it. He tells her, "sometimes George running, and George fall down, but George no get embarassed"

Who gives a shit what anyone thinks? Why can't we just make the most of our joy, and happiness? Just completely cut lose? Like King David, after years in exile finally comes to Jerusalem to be crowned the king. His destiny fulfilled, the hardship over, the joyuous return home. Overwhelmed he strips down and dances through the streets in his new kingdom. He was letting it out, free of all embarassment.

His first wife, when reunited with her husband after years says, "well are you done entertaining all the young women with your ridiculous display?" I cringe when I read that, as that would probably be my response. Why can't we the church just let go?

Who gives a shit what anyone thinks?

well too often I do, and I ashamed to say so.

the rev

art and prayer

Well I finally got to some of my artwork yesterday. It had been a while. I just didn't feel like doing it. I would look into the back and see my stuff, and just think, yeah I should get to it, but just didn't. I wanted to want to do it, but I just couldn't get out there and start painting.

When I did, it was with some reluctance, looking for something else to do. But the strangest thing happened, as I was working on my paintings I started really get into it. I was having a great time, and was inspired to finish some other pieces, and start a whole bunch of others. It was in the discipline of doing it that the inspiration came.

Interesting

the rev

Three questions for the rev

Thought this place could use some interaction

Everyone can ask three questions, and I will answer them as honestly as I can.

the rev