The Park this morning

I don't like to write about the park, this may be the first time I have done so. Our faith community goes to the park on Sunday morning and shares our breakfast with a number of people that live in the park, or on the bluffs by the beach. Usually we sit for an hour or so with our friends, and we eat some egg burritos and hash browns, and enjoy some coffee and conversation. It is often uneventful, and predictable. We hear the same stories usually, the latino blokes are still looking for, and not finding work, those struggling with addictions to drugs or alcohol tell us of their run ins with cops or stories of panhandling, and usually we just have a quiet time.

This morning was a bit different. It started with a few new people that I hadn't met before, and that is always nice. And then a regular from day one, (almost two years ago) Dave showed up, but he moved far away when another gal showed up. They have been having tension lately. She started berating him about his hygiene, and he was telling me how sick of it he was. So I stood off to the side, with a man basically killing himself with alcohol, explaining to him that this woman actually harasses him because she cares for him. I don't think he understood, but just found that someone who was his friend, has now just become like everyone else looking down on him. I told him I would try and find him some clean pants, and he went to sit somewhere else.

Then someone else who we have never seen before came up, and was a bit of a jerk. But hey, being homeless, and addicted is not fun, and I get being grumpy. He was pissed off that the coffee was gone, but there was nothing I could do about that. As he walked away, he threw his burrito wrapper on the floor. I called to him, "hey bro, pick that up, you can't throw the wrappers on the floor" He pointed towards other trash in the park, and I said, "but that isn't ours, if you litter the cops can make us stop coming" and told me to F off and walked away "Well don't come back then til you learn to respect the breakfast" I received another F off as I was picking up his wrapper. He then reached into the trash can near him and threw trash onto the ground. I started walking towards him.

He turned and squared himself aggressively, "What are you gonna do?"

Now I am not gonna lie, I wanted to smack him around a bit. Some skinny tweeker living in the park is gonna step up to me? Do you know who I am? The inner violence really was burning, but instead I answered, "I am going to pick up after you" And I did. But as I walked back to the table I was shaking. Everyone said, to take a deep breath, "man, I got a little too much violence in me still" They asked what I said, and I told them, and we all had a good laugh. They said that guy was new to the park, and they would clue him in.

And then another of the alcoholics showed up. I hadn't seen him in months. He had been diagnosed with melanoma and looked bad. He told us that he was no longer in remission and had been at the hospital for 21 days. Apparently he left the hospital because they said he was refusing to follow hospital directions. His new doctor wouldn't let him go outside and have a smoke, and when he went anyways they discharged him. I guess they figured it was tough love but give me a break. They guy has cancer all over his body, he drinks all day long, he is homeless, his teeth are rotting out of his head, and you think quitting smoking is gonna help him? I talked to him for about fifteen minutes, then gave him a hardy handshake. Said good bye to everyone and headed home.

I encountered Jesus today, in various forms. One was very hard for me to love, I need God's love, as my own is just not good enough. God loves us not because we deserve it, but because it is his nature to love. Depending upon Christ, is depending upon that love, and hopefully I can learn to do that more and more, and destroy the violence that is in my heart.

Pray for my friends

rev

When I was younger

At 10 years of age I wanted to play defensive lineman for the Dallas Cowboys, and Randy White was my hero

At 13 I wanted to be a rock star, and Gene Simmons of Kiss was my hero

At 16 I wanted to die in the arena as a Portuguese bullfighter, and my heroes were Juan Belmonte and Carlos Arruza

At 20 I wanted to preach to thousands in stadiums around the world and my heroes were Billy Graham and Chuck Smith

At 25 I wanted to have a huge church made up of thousands of cell churches and my hero was Yongi Cho

At 30 I wanted to be left alone, to follow Jesus in my own way, and my heroes were Buddy Suitor, Alan Hirsch and Mark Sayers

Now I am 45, and I have learned that what I want is often silly, and not what I need. I have learned that my heroes are very fallible, and they should be influences rather than heroes. I have learned that what I plan for, and what happens is actually quite different and that what matters is how I love in the process.

I hope that our community in Long Beach continues to grow into a network of house churches, and intentional communities committed to loving our neighbors, specifically our marginalized neighbors. I hope that I will finish a book that can share our journey with a wider audience. I hope that I might have the opportunity to speak to the church at large a bit. I hope that I grow ever more committed to discipleship.

I am thankful for people like Ched Myers, Neil Cole, Alan and Deb Hirsch and Dave Andrews that encourage me along the way. I am thankful for my friends that are fighting the enemy with me. I am thankful for my community that loves me for who I am and compels me to be better. I am especially thankful for my wife, whom I grow to love more, and trust more every day.

When I was younger I wanted to be something or someone else, now I just want to be a better me

rev

And they say I am compromising!

As you might imagine, I get into some "conversations" with people of all different ideological bent. But it seems my most heated disagreements tend to be with the group that would be considered the conservative evangelicals. It is apparent that we disagree on a few things. But what is funny to me is that I find the same accusations that are thrown at me, are actually the ones I make of them. Or in the words of the sage 2nd grader "I'm rubber and you're glue everything bounces off me and sticks to you"

Ok, so what the hell am I talking about today? Simply this, I am often accused of compromising the gospel, or the faith. And the reasons I do this are varied but usually come to these:

1. to fit my own politically correct socialist ideologies

2. to try and be cool, or hip

3. to try and be liked by the non Christians, (both atheists and other religions)

So in order to be a cool, socialist who gets invited to non Christian parties, I compromise the gospel. But if I was a brave, man, and took the bible at its literal word, I would be a non compromising, despised, conservative man who lets God speak for me when I am reviled.

But this is the thing... I didn't come to my political leanings and then change my theological views. I am liked, and disliked by many people from other religions and non religions because I am unashamedly committed to the idea of the uniqueness of Jesus' as the God man, who's work was salvation for the cosmos. And, I quite frankly, am so damn cool, that my beliefs couldn't make me any cooler. :)

I came to my beliefs not because of any reason other than, I belief this is what Christ, through the biblical accounts in the gospels, teaches with both his words and his deeds. I am not trying to be a lefty, a hipster, a liberal, or even to not have to worry about sin, rather I am trying to follow Jesus.

But lets talk about compromise:

The gospels show throughout their entirety Jesus' animosity towards the religious and moral elite, yet the church of today in their calls for "holiness" regularly lift up these same attitudes, rejecting the very people Jesus routinely located himself among. We compromise the words and example of Jesus, by emulating the enemies of Jesus instead of Jesus himself.

Jesus continuously tells us to not trust in money, to not store up treasures, to give all we have away and trust God, to share with whomever has need ect. Yet we do not take those scriptures literally, of course not! Jesus couldnt have meant something that makes me uncomfortable. The truth is Jesus talks way more about what you do with your wallet than what you do with your dick, and I am the one compromising? Excuse me if I am a bit nervous, you keep smacking me in the head with that log when you are trying to get the splinter out of my eye.

Jesus was consistently caring for the marginalized. He tells us a story of what is essentially, the righteous heretic. He spends time among the pagans, the heretics, hookers and the race traitors. He parties with sinners. He loves and touches the ritually unclean. Yet we make sanctified church services that make people that can't afford a smart casual, or even formal outfit, feel unwanted. We impose burdens of righteousness upon others and exclude them. We do not spend time with those of other or no faith in loving communion.

There is assent to taking the bible as its literal word, and then it being thrown right out the window when it says: Love your enemy, do good to those that do bad to you, and do not violently resist an evil doer. Instead we make up this bullshit about loving your enemy in your heart while you drop bombs on him, his wife and his children in real life.

There is constant clamor about the literalness of the hell of the afterlife, yet no willingness to enter into the hell of the present and rescue people from their pain and oppression. There is talk about the literalness about the heaven of the future, but no willingness to sacrifice to bring justice, mercy and goodness to all now.

I am not advocating a lessening of Christian discipleship, but a raising of it. I am not advocating an easier discipleship but a harder one. I am declaring that the rigorous believism of our current Christianity is a fragile shell of the grace and power filled way of discipleship of the early church. That orthodoxy needs to give way to orthopraxy or we are just big brains and big mouths with no relation to the Jesus of the bible.

You want to see who is compromising? Who is caring for the widow, the orphan, the poor, the marginalized, the imprisoned? Who is loving their enemy? Who is actually walking out the fruits of the Spirit. Don't ask me what I think, ask me how I live.

rev

Modern Day Saints (Shirley Osbourne of Melbourne)

Shirley Osbourne is one of my heroes. We met her in Melbourne while she was speaking at a FORGE intensive training session, on spirituality. We immediately realized we would be friends. She is everything I like about a missionary, loving, down to earth, grass roots, strong, courageous and above all... bat shit crazy. She now pastors a church in Melbourne that ministers to a number of needy people from the housing commission flats. She works alongside a number of aids organizations. And is tirelessly working to support her friends, the forgotten poor and marginalized of Melbourne's inner city.

Shirley one day realized a number of homeless, disenfranchised kids that gathered on the steps of Melbourne's Flinders Street train station. She did a most logical thing, being a young wife and mother, she started bringing them home to live with her. Starting a ministry called SOS, Steps Outreach Services has over the past 19 years provided shelter for over 300 young people often in her own family home.

I remember her telling us of her learning to teach the bible to this mob of completely unchurched young people. She realized that the story of the good Samaritan would mean nothing to them. So she told them the story of the good Policeman. How would that go over in our Sunday services? Whether she is providing food for her friends in government housing, sitting with a friend struggling with heroin withdrawals, or providing a welcoming space for a pedophile while still protecting the vulnerable this woman has incredible integrity, and humility. She doesn't think she is special, just doing what God puts in her path. I pray that more ordinary saints like her do the same.

rev

Making a name for myself (painful realization from Babel)

Many of you would know that ten days ago or so I wrote a letter to Mark Driscoll, this is the last I will mention it I promise. What happened was the link was tweeted by Rick Warren, Rachel Held Evans, and Don Miller, and it became a minor internet hit. I got more hits on that thread in two days than the rest of my blog in three years. And it felt good. I had already decided to make a commitment to blogging everyday, so this seemed like it was a great jump start. But... (why does everyone have a big but)...

Since then I have been tracking my stats. I have been advertising my blog on twitter and facebook. I even wrote a post yesterday hoping to stir up some interest by asking Rick Warren why he deleted the link he had earlier posted. The truth is I was, and I guess am, trying to make a name for myself. During silence today I recognized this, and I immediately felt conviction. This was the sin of Babel. Facing their mortality, and their loneliness, they decided to build a city with a giant tower and make a name for themselves

Genesis 11

Universal Language, Babel, Confusion

¹ Now the whole earth used the same language and the same words. ² It came about as they journeyed east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar and settled there. ³ They said to one another, “Come, let us make bricks and burn them thoroughly.” And they used brick for stone, and they used tar for mortar. ⁴ They said, “Come, let us build for ourselves a city, and a tower whose top will reach into heaven, and let us make for ourselves a name, otherwise we will be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth.” ⁵ The LORD came down to see the city and the tower which the sons of men had built. ⁶ The LORD said, “Behold, they are one people, and they all have the same language. And this is what they began to do, and now nothing which they purpose to do will be impossible for them. ⁷ Come, let Us go down and there confuse their language, so that they will not understand one another’s speech.” ⁸ So the LORD scattered them abroad from there over the face of the whole earth; and they stopped building the city. ⁹ Therefore its name was called Babel, because there the LORD confused the language of the whole earth; and from there the LORD scattered them abroad over the face of the whole earth

The problem is that up until this time you were named by God. You were who God named you, you didn't make a name for yourself. This city was a direct attempt to answer the problems that only God can answer. To confront death, loneliness, separation and the eternal questions, by making a city, centralizing power, creating monuments. Big shining beacons so all the internet could see...

I have been sinning, please forgive me. I believe I have a prophetic message to the church at large, and am living that out with my community in Long Beach. But I will let God give me my name, and a place to speak, I will no longer try and make it for myself. Thanks for your forgiveness.

rev

So what happened Pastor Rick Warren?

I don't have an axe to grind with Rick Warren. I actually think he gets a bad rap most of the time. I think he is wrong about plenty of stuff, but you know what... I am too. So...

Rick... keep growing and changing, searching for the truth. As much as I try I like you... but...

I gotta ask what happened last week? Wasn't a big deal, I just don't Get it. I posted a letter to Mark Driscoll, about another of his stupid manly man comments and apparently you found it, and must have thought it funny, or challenging, or important, because you tweeted it. Then after a relatively short period of time you deleted your tweet. So what gives?

If you later realized I was a jerk (which I could have told you up front) why not tell me? Or if people complained because of other stuff on my blog, you could have told me that. But really, how did you like it enough to tweet about, but then delete your own tweet? Seems odd, and I asked you personally but you didn't answer so I thought maybe you would see this and retweet it, and then you might read it and give me an answer. The way it stands I don't think Mark Driscoll would be very proud of you... Well I guess that isn't a good point :)

rev

Amy Winehouse, Oslo, Somalia ect. (this tragic world)

This past weekend we were saddened by the death of the incredibly talented, but tragically enslaved singer Amy Winehouse. Before that we heard the horrific reports of a lone man, consumed by hate and bigotry, who injured and murdered almost a hundred young people in Oslo. In addition we continue to get reports of the widespread famine in Somalia, and the factions that keep relief from getting to them.

In addition Japan is still reeling from the earthquakes, New Zealand the same and Haiti is still in dire straights. There is not enough time in the news to cover it all.

Add to that the incredible deaths in the drug cartels in Mexico, the wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan. The violent regimes in Burma, Libya, Syria ect.. This world seems like a pretty shitty place.

My dear friend in the Navy is currently stationed in a country that is a near the middle east and the gulf. He does much aid work, and humanitarian work (the thing the forces do more of than gets reported and for which I am proud of). And he sees every day the horrible atrocities done on a small scale. Women with their genitals mutilated (90%), young girls with acid burns for going to school, kids that have suffered severe beatings, and just simple starvation and disease. These things almost never get reported as they are poor, and small, and insignificant.

In the park this weekend we ate breakfast with a homeless guy who was missing one of his front teeth, had stitches in his gums and lip, and staples in his head after being attacked with a pipe and a wooden pole or bat. The police responded 90 minutes after they were called. While two weeks earlier the cops responded in ten minutes because another homeless man urinated in the bushes (before the public bathrooms had been opened up). Of course no one hears about this, who cares about the little stuff, especially when we have the big stuff to worry about.

Mother Teresa said, "you don't need to to great things, just little things, with great love" Gandhi said, "you must be the change you want to see in the world" I challenge you today, I challenge myself today, to start to live in a way that makes the world a better place. Love the unloved. Care for the uncared for. Don't worry about what you can't do, and do what you can. Write a letter to a congress person about Somalia, or Burma, or Afghanistan. Start a group around Ched Myers book Sabbath Economics and live a different economy. Invite a homeless person, or struggling family to share dinner with you. The problem is not too big, our imagination is too small. Christ died and rose to redeem this world, lets live like that is true.

rev

What I have learned over these last 10 days

1. I am often misunderstood, sometimes that is my fault, sometimes that is my readers fault, sometimes it is the incompleteness of our mechanisms of communication.

2. I still want to be popular, and heard far and wide (which I think is ego), yet I believe I have an important message, and a faithful testimony, (which is ministry) and it takes integrity, and community to hold the two in tension.

3. I still hate it when people don't see how correct I obviously am.

4. I am very much personally invested in what I say, write or paint

5. I am not alone in my journey, there are many that walk before, with and behind me, and we are one

6. and probably the thing I learned the most was... People really want to see Driscoll get beat up :)

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, and be a part of my learning experience. I will be starting to record my teaching videos on the radical gospel of Matthews Jesus again, so if you want to catch up please go to: the rev

"see you" tomorrow

rev

be still and know that I am God

For my new friend Meredith Gould I will be brief :)

The practice of silence, stillness, listening prayer is not something that comes naturally for me. I am more of a assault the throne of God, Pentecostal, type prayer guy. I yell to and at God, often outloud, and I relate to the psalmist. But I also need to develop the part of me that hears that still small voice. This is what I am trying to learn now, and it isn't easy.

Every morning during the work week I wake up, light a candle, and spend twenty minutes trying to be still, and silent before God. This morning I managed maybe twenty seconds in a row at one time, which was a break through. But one thing I did "hear" while sitting, was that the Holy Spirit is at work. I watched the flame flicker, back and forth, and realized that God works in and among this world. And sometimes its outline would break from its tear drop and become anarchic, and wild, and unpredictable, yet it was the same flame. It made me want to look deeper, and be afire more.

Be still, know that I am God, then get your ass up and be my presence in the world.

rev

HOLY SHIT!!!

So I have been getting a little flack for my language, thought I might address it. I have been accused of a few things:

1. Stumbling others by trying to be relevant

2. Trying to be hip and looking silly

3. Being a bad example as a pastor

4. Not being "holy" according to scriptures teachings

Well lets take a look shall we?

1. Stumbling others...stumbling others... yes, I must admit that gosh dang it, I flippin said some naughty words and one of my brothers began to say the same gosh darn words, and before you flippin know it, he was droppin "f" bombs. A couple of weeks later I caught him looking at internet porn, and now he is addicted to heroin and worshiping satan, all cause I dagnabit said shit. Oh doo doo, I hope you don't wind up renouncing Christ and becoming drug addicted now.

2. Yeah, thats me. I am always trying to look hip with my tattoos, and my slicked back hair doo, and my post punk uniform. Has nothing to do with the guy I was when I got saved, I am just trying to look cool... by speaking like a normal human being. How silly of me, I should be much less silly... Like this:



Perhaps I speak the way I do because that is the way I speak??? Because that is the way my neighbors speak, and that by trying to speak like Ned Flanders I actually am sounding like a self righteous dork? Now don't get me wrong, I refrain from language that is racist, sexual, sexist, or calling people names. But saying shit, instead of doodie, well that isn't me being cool, that is me not being silly!

3. Being a good example of pastor would mean hiding the language that is in my head? pretending to be something I am not? Not expressing myself to the fullest of my possibilities? Being something higher, more above, holier than those I am in community with? Yeah, well I don't want to be any of those things anyways

4. Let me get a bit more serious here. Jesus, nor Paul ever give us a list of words that you can't say on television. There is no list of naughty words, but there are numerous commands to watch your mouth. My question is, have you ever really looked at what those admonitions are saying? Most are about gossip, slander, divisiveness and other such practices that have nothing to do with the naughty word list. I have done some intense research, and when Paul gets a bit more exhaustive about his list of things we should not let our tongue be about: eph 5 ³ But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; ⁴ and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. In context of the passage, and in context of the Greek words, Paul is speaking quite clearly about, sexual joking, jesting, flirting and innuendo. None of which you need a naughty word to do. My "slander" of Mark Driscoll, was much more pushing the envelope of grace than any word I use. And if you actually do a little digging around, you will be shocked at some of the phrases that Paul and Jesus use when describing their opponents. Your personal piety would be much better served by a desire to speak words of encouragement to those who speak the truth in love, than in making naughty word lists.

And in the end, let me confront this ridiculous focus on stupid things like cuss words. Let me start, with a quote from Anthony Campolo

“[According to a profile in Christianity Today entitled] The Positive Prophet, ... I have three things I'd like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don't give a shit. What's worse is that you're more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night.”

Tony Campolo quote

In this message Tony addressed the problems with a moralistic focus on things that serve to give us a feeling of personal piety, while allowing us to ignore issues that are truly on God's heart. Whats more important? 30,000 starving children or a cuss word? In a world where "Christian marriages" end 50% of the time, we are really going to worry about the difference between shit and doo doo in the spoken or written word? In a world where high profile pastor after pastor goes down in flames for adultery, and churches are mired in controversy over protecting child molesting ministers, we are going to address the appropriateness of the word ass? When gay children are being bullied til they commit suicide, people are being sold into sex slavery, and thousands of people are dying in a drug war in Mexico you think God is really concerned about the cultural acceptance of a word or not?

I live in a country where the vast majority of the Christian church has a problem with me using the modern vernacular of the day, while they support the continued killing of not only soldiers, but innocent women and children (conveniently called collateral damage), of brown people far away from home. I scream what the FUCK is wrong with this picture??? Wake up people of God, and get on with Justice and Mercy, and Humility before God.

Now should we worry about personal holiness? Of course, and if you feel cussing is a sin, then by all mean don't do it. But don't dump your doo doo on me.

rev