I am an insecure man, that wants to be liked. I want to be respected more than I want to be liked. And, to be honest, I actually do care about what my peers think about me. I like to believe that I am capable of acting beyond this sinful limitation, but sometimes I don't.
For instance, I will often name drop when discussing theology. It is an especially successful name drop if I can claim personal relationship with the person. Like, "my friend Alan Hirsch" Or "My mentor Ched Myers, or Neil Cole says" See, I just did it again. In other words, I am well read, and connected, and my thoughts are the thoughts of BIG people. They are BIG thoughts, and I am a BIG thinker. I read BIG books about BIG things. And my theology is right, and correct and you should agree with me.
Kind of reminds me of driving around in a really BIG truck.
But this is the problem, Christ chose a bunch of working class blokes, that most likely would not have known their way around any BIG theology tomes. Christ was not interested in the scribes, and all their BIG knowledge. He was interested in living BIG. Not wealthy BIG, but BIG in the understanding of God's kingdom. The early church was called the way, not the truth.
Lest someone get the wrong idea, I am not saying that knowledge is wrong. Nor that learning is not important. We must learn, and strive for understanding. But it is my contention that the way I live, is more important than what I think. Or even further, if my way of life is not in line with the way of the cross, I cannot even truly understand how to know, the truth. Correct practice is more important than correct knowledge, and in fact correct knowledge can only come from correct practice.
Let me give you a little example. We have two people in our community that do not believe in a personal God. Yet they believe in the teachings of Jesus. They are trying to live out these teachings, and are therefore part of our community. I would say they have the wrong doctrine, the wrong belief system. But they are feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, caring for the good earth. While many people that do believe the "right things" ignore the plight of the poor, and consume the resources of God's good creation with no thought. In our Western church mindset the one is damned, the other is saved, (though maybe not living out their discipleship as much as they should) But my question is who is truly being a disciple of Christ? Did the fishermen who followed Jesus understand the trinity? the various atonement theories? the basic ideologies of a Christian world view? Nope in fact even after the resurrection they were confused, "so, you gonna kick the Romans out now general Jesus" (my paraphrase)
So what is my point? Having all of your ideas about God right (and of course yours are right) does not make you a follower of Christ. Following Christ means walking the path of your own execution, for the sake of love, whether you understand it all or not.
And now for a really BIG name drop
Jesus said, "Love God, Love your Neighbor, and everyone is your neighbor" Love is an action word
rev
Monday, July 18, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Any questions?
It seems that many people, from many backgrounds, have visited my blog to see this letter I created in a few minutes, to express my frustration with Mark Driscoll. But some of these people have looked at a few other posts, and have expressed some level of curiosity, or interest in my blog. Or since its an extension of me, me. So if you have any questions for me, about my life, ministry, or beliefs and practice, ask them here and I will answer them as well as I can.
rev
rev
Friday, July 15, 2011
new discipline (silent prayer)
Silent prayer, or centering prayer, or silent meditation whatever you want to call it is what I have been trying to grow in my life. Twenty minutes every morning, I light a candle, and try to listen for that still small voice. To clear my mind of the clutter, and noise, and listen for God's breath, for God's whisper...
I suck at it. Can't go 10 seconds without my mind drifting off. I guess thats why they call it a discipline. I was better at pentecostal scream therapy prayer :)
rev
I suck at it. Can't go 10 seconds without my mind drifting off. I guess thats why they call it a discipline. I was better at pentecostal scream therapy prayer :)
rev
Thursday, July 14, 2011
a new series modern day saints 1 (my wife Raquel)
Since I seemed to have gotten a million more hits for being a jerk than I ever did being less of a jerk, I thought I might try even harder to be more positive. I am starting a series where I will write a brief description of people who I admire greatly. And there is nobody I would be more happy to start with, than my wife Raquel.
There is a scene in As Good As It Gets, where Jack Nicholson's delightfully screwed up character unknowingly insults his love interest in the film (played brilliantly by Helen Hunt) she tells him if he doesn't give her a really good compliment she is going to leave:
Well, this is my wife. She makes me want to be a better man, and has made me want to be a better man for 23 years now. I have watched her invite battered women to come live with us, care for homeless drunk men, and sit and cry with teenagers that weren't even her own. I have known her to be incredibly sensitive to the Spirits leading, with discernment so spot on I tease her by calling it her voodoo. She has put up with, and even cherished a lifestyle that often leads us into financial and sometimes even physical insecurity. She sees the truths of scripture, and dances with them in a way that is awe inspiring. And then she plays music that teaches others to dance as well.
One time we were on our way back home and we saw two police cars outside the back of our jiu jitsu studio. We stopped to see what was up, and an elderly lady was crying, and screaming, and so upset. Her grandchild was at the studio where the child's father was a live in pro. The grandmother did not think it a proper environment for the young girl and was trying to take her away. She was so upset, and helpless. But the father, my friend, was not doing anything wrong, nor was the place unsafe, or improper (though a tad dirty). My wife sat in the car watching the scenario as I tried to see what was going on. She felt such empathy for the grandmother, and for the little girl, and for my friend. And she felt helpless. What can I do, there is too much need. These kinds of things are everywhere, the poor, the hungry, the helpless. I cannot stand under this oppression of need. Then my wonderful wife says, "the Spirit of God said to me, 'no you can't, but my church can, please get my church out of their buildings and back in the world'" And she has given her life to living that out.
My wife, is a saint. I am a lucky man.
rev
There is a scene in As Good As It Gets, where Jack Nicholson's delightfully screwed up character unknowingly insults his love interest in the film (played brilliantly by Helen Hunt) she tells him if he doesn't give her a really good compliment she is going to leave:
Well, this is my wife. She makes me want to be a better man, and has made me want to be a better man for 23 years now. I have watched her invite battered women to come live with us, care for homeless drunk men, and sit and cry with teenagers that weren't even her own. I have known her to be incredibly sensitive to the Spirits leading, with discernment so spot on I tease her by calling it her voodoo. She has put up with, and even cherished a lifestyle that often leads us into financial and sometimes even physical insecurity. She sees the truths of scripture, and dances with them in a way that is awe inspiring. And then she plays music that teaches others to dance as well.
One time we were on our way back home and we saw two police cars outside the back of our jiu jitsu studio. We stopped to see what was up, and an elderly lady was crying, and screaming, and so upset. Her grandchild was at the studio where the child's father was a live in pro. The grandmother did not think it a proper environment for the young girl and was trying to take her away. She was so upset, and helpless. But the father, my friend, was not doing anything wrong, nor was the place unsafe, or improper (though a tad dirty). My wife sat in the car watching the scenario as I tried to see what was going on. She felt such empathy for the grandmother, and for the little girl, and for my friend. And she felt helpless. What can I do, there is too much need. These kinds of things are everywhere, the poor, the hungry, the helpless. I cannot stand under this oppression of need. Then my wonderful wife says, "the Spirit of God said to me, 'no you can't, but my church can, please get my church out of their buildings and back in the world'" And she has given her life to living that out.
My wife, is a saint. I am a lucky man.
rev
A follow up on my letter to Mark Driscoll
I was taught two spiritual disciplines that have at times helped me to grow in my pursuit of a Christlike life. On the occasions where they did not help me it was because I did not practice them, not because they did not work.
The one I learned from a friend who shared his father in laws practice of "embracing my own confession". What this means is that before we act, especially in attempts at reconciliation, we must discern our own sin. The way we do this is to recognize that there is always our own sin that causes us to react in anger. "YOU WHO JUDGE ANOTHER DO THE SAME THING" When we can embrace our own confession, and seek God's forgiving mercy we can then in humility speak to another. In other words, deal with your own log, before dealing with the speck in your brothers eye.
The second I learned from, (gasp, dare I say it), my wife. To be fair she learned it from one of her friends, who learned it from someone else and I think they were all women so I shouldn't let them teach me, but in a moment of weakness I did. The discipline is this, when ever you say "so and so is a such and such" you follow it by "and so am I" So, "Mark is a judgmental jackass... and so am I"
The truth is, that was the point of my rant yesterday. I see in Mark, and in Marks depiction of "manliness" many of the traits that I am convicted of myself. I am judgmental. I am mean. I make fun of people that I differ with or disagree with. I am overbearing, rude, and obnoxious. I am prone to shouting, anger and even violence. I feel uncomfortable about expressions of sexuality that are different than my own. And I believe God wants to drive this sin from me, so that I, might be perfected in Love like Jesus was. Which is why when I see my sin reflected in others, it makes me angry. Easier to get angry at others than myself.
My point on Tuesday evening, was not that I am above Mark. But rather, in being a visible leader, Mark encourages a part of me that the Spirit is trying to discourage. Not so I can be less the strong, courageous, man I am, but that I would be tempered with goodness, kindness, gentleness and empathy. My letter was an attempt to give voice to this, and perhaps, help other tough guys to see a different way, and hear a different voice.
I do understand the idea that church in America can be ostracizing for some men, but it is also so for lgbt community, for anyone not of the same race as the church they go to, for people that are ADHD, ect. Mark often criticizes churches for compromising to be more palatable, yet isn't encouraging a male dominated, power based sexism a compromise to the 20-35 year old male demographic? Lets look at Christ for who he was, someone who breaks out of all of our boxes, strong, yet gentle, Non violent, let passionately zealous, loving and just.
rev
The one I learned from a friend who shared his father in laws practice of "embracing my own confession". What this means is that before we act, especially in attempts at reconciliation, we must discern our own sin. The way we do this is to recognize that there is always our own sin that causes us to react in anger. "YOU WHO JUDGE ANOTHER DO THE SAME THING" When we can embrace our own confession, and seek God's forgiving mercy we can then in humility speak to another. In other words, deal with your own log, before dealing with the speck in your brothers eye.
The second I learned from, (gasp, dare I say it), my wife. To be fair she learned it from one of her friends, who learned it from someone else and I think they were all women so I shouldn't let them teach me, but in a moment of weakness I did. The discipline is this, when ever you say "so and so is a such and such" you follow it by "and so am I" So, "Mark is a judgmental jackass... and so am I"
The truth is, that was the point of my rant yesterday. I see in Mark, and in Marks depiction of "manliness" many of the traits that I am convicted of myself. I am judgmental. I am mean. I make fun of people that I differ with or disagree with. I am overbearing, rude, and obnoxious. I am prone to shouting, anger and even violence. I feel uncomfortable about expressions of sexuality that are different than my own. And I believe God wants to drive this sin from me, so that I, might be perfected in Love like Jesus was. Which is why when I see my sin reflected in others, it makes me angry. Easier to get angry at others than myself.
My point on Tuesday evening, was not that I am above Mark. But rather, in being a visible leader, Mark encourages a part of me that the Spirit is trying to discourage. Not so I can be less the strong, courageous, man I am, but that I would be tempered with goodness, kindness, gentleness and empathy. My letter was an attempt to give voice to this, and perhaps, help other tough guys to see a different way, and hear a different voice.
I do understand the idea that church in America can be ostracizing for some men, but it is also so for lgbt community, for anyone not of the same race as the church they go to, for people that are ADHD, ect. Mark often criticizes churches for compromising to be more palatable, yet isn't encouraging a male dominated, power based sexism a compromise to the 20-35 year old male demographic? Lets look at Christ for who he was, someone who breaks out of all of our boxes, strong, yet gentle, Non violent, let passionately zealous, loving and just.
rev
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Sometimes I get a bit disillusioned
So yesterday I put up a letter to Mark Driscoll. I have gotten more hits on my blog for that post than just about any post, ever, even though it has been up only 18 hours. The only exception, would be the post I put up expressing my anger over the nationalism and militarism expressed by Pastor Chuck Smith.
So, I put up videos of bible teachings, reflections on life, and really heartfelt sharing, and I get almost no feed back. But when I make a little controversy, when I stir up a little shit, when I act like what I am trying to overcome, I become in some little way popular. This is discouraging to me.
I get a bit disillusioned. I would hope I could be a beacon of light not just a Christian shock jock. I would hope we could encourage each other and pass around some love here and there. But the truth is I don't do it. I don't read many blogs myself, and when I do I often don't take the time to comment. If we want to be the change we want to see in the world, in the church, in social media... it requires action.
I want to be a man of action and reflection.
rev
So, I put up videos of bible teachings, reflections on life, and really heartfelt sharing, and I get almost no feed back. But when I make a little controversy, when I stir up a little shit, when I act like what I am trying to overcome, I become in some little way popular. This is discouraging to me.
I get a bit disillusioned. I would hope I could be a beacon of light not just a Christian shock jock. I would hope we could encourage each other and pass around some love here and there. But the truth is I don't do it. I don't read many blogs myself, and when I do I often don't take the time to comment. If we want to be the change we want to see in the world, in the church, in social media... it requires action.
I want to be a man of action and reflection.
rev
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
A letter to Pastor Mark
I have listened to you Pastor Mark for many years now. You are very bright, charismatic, and I think do some great things, but you usually aggravate me quite a bit. But in your latest facebook post talking about genetically male effeminate worship leaders, I just had to say something. The truth is, you probably won't ever read what I have to say, and if you do you will most likely laugh at what a sissified hippie I am.
Let me start by saying that you can call me John. Though I am a pastor, I am possibly not going to act as a pastor, nor do I need the title. Most people call me rev as an ironic nickname because I am so very different from their idea of a reverend. I am also going to call you Mark, because you have not been acting like a pastor either. You know, because of your undeniable intelligence, that pastor means shepherd. And part of the job of a shepherd is to keep the sheep in line to protect them from bad things. And sometimes a shepherd has to "man up" as you would say, and go fight the wolves that would tear apart the sheep. I am sure you are quite willing to do both of these things. But a shepherd does not belittle, mock, or injure sheep for looking different, for being weaker in some ways, or for not fitting in. And Mark, that has been what your bullying has done.
Your desire to be a manly man, and to stamp out this feminizing of the church, has not only been ill informed, and self serving, but is also hurting many people, and stumbling others like myself. You see mr tough manly man, things like gentleness, peace, and patience are all fruits of the Spirit, and I struggle to live those out even without you acting like they are girly traits.
Now let me, like Paul, set some things straight. When it comes to being a manly man, I am one of the manliest you will ever meet. I was born John, son of John, son of Jorgen I am 6'2" and 230 lbs of ass kicking muscle. I was a four year letterman in wrestling. My nickname on the football team where I played defensive tackle was kamikaze. I skateboarded in swimming pools with no pads. I was in a punk rock gang.
I was a portuguese bullfighter from the age of 15 to 20 see picture above (not me but what I did for five years) I was a repo man, a bouncer, and a construction worker. I drive a Ford F150 am a brazilian jiu jitsu black belt, and a former pro mma fighter and coach. I have numerous tattoos. I have fathered two children, no sons so I am sure I lose a few points there. I have planted or helped to plant 18 churches I share my faith freely, in many places. I am quite frankly a bad ass.
This is the problem Mark, though all of these qualities can be used for good, for most of mankind they have been used for bad. They have been used to have power over others, to kill others, to keep others in their place, (which is always below us). And this is the kind of behavior you encourage. Make fun of others, exalt strength when Christ humbled himself. Stand over others especially women, when Christ, though God, relied on women for support, showed himself to them first, and depended on them as his only witnesses on the cross (cept for a teenager). Instead of being numbered with the sinners, the traitors, the drunks heretics and outcasts like Christ did, you ridicule and damn them.
But the biggest temptation you put on me, is to take you up on your manly man thing. In my flesh I want to fly up to Seattle and have a cage match followed by a theology debate. And after beating you ugly and stupid, I could then in your concussed state overcome your superior intellect and smart assed comments in a debate was well.
Unfortunately, I follow the hippie, non violent, love your enemy Jesus, that would rather die for you than kick your ass. I really hope you meet Him some day, because the guy you are following is just who you wish you could be when you grow up.
john
Last Night...
Our community meets on Mondays for a communal meal, and some discussion around the bible. This last night my wife lead the discussion time, but rather than continue on in Matthew, we reflected on what we had focused on at our last time together.
Last community meal we looked at the famous story of Jesus dealing with the issue of taxation. But looked at it from a different perspective than the usual, "be a good citizen, pay your taxes, and then be a good Christian too" Rather we looked at the radical, and very subversive message that Jesus showed in the passage, and then lived out in his life. It was all an issue of identity and idolatry. By placing value on idols, "graven images" the people of Israel were losing site of their own image and identity. Jesus shows in this passage that money, bears the image of empire, and is therefore by its very being aligned with, and an idol for empire. But we, are image bearers of the creator of the universe. We are made in the image and likeness of God, and called very good. And we should worry about handing over our own selves to God, and don't worry about a worthless idol to a kingdom we do not belong to.
Well, enough of my preaching. Raquel lead us to look at this issue of identity and image bearing. She had us write on labels, who we identified ourselves as. I wrote, father, husband, son, black belt (yes I am a bit vain) construction worker. And who others identified us as, I wrote pastor, theologian. And then we were invited to write labels and place them on the other people in the room. Raquel then had us share what was stuck to our bodies, the labels of our own and others. The images that had been placed upon us.
She then read the account of humankind's creation. She read in Pauls epistles that we are neither Jew, or Greek, or male or female, or slave or free. She went further and said we are neither gay nor straight, white nor black, vegan nor carnivore. And she invited us to take all of our labels off, and to sit in silence for a while and just be...
the image of God
together
it was beautiful
rev
Last community meal we looked at the famous story of Jesus dealing with the issue of taxation. But looked at it from a different perspective than the usual, "be a good citizen, pay your taxes, and then be a good Christian too" Rather we looked at the radical, and very subversive message that Jesus showed in the passage, and then lived out in his life. It was all an issue of identity and idolatry. By placing value on idols, "graven images" the people of Israel were losing site of their own image and identity. Jesus shows in this passage that money, bears the image of empire, and is therefore by its very being aligned with, and an idol for empire. But we, are image bearers of the creator of the universe. We are made in the image and likeness of God, and called very good. And we should worry about handing over our own selves to God, and don't worry about a worthless idol to a kingdom we do not belong to.
Well, enough of my preaching. Raquel lead us to look at this issue of identity and image bearing. She had us write on labels, who we identified ourselves as. I wrote, father, husband, son, black belt (yes I am a bit vain) construction worker. And who others identified us as, I wrote pastor, theologian. And then we were invited to write labels and place them on the other people in the room. Raquel then had us share what was stuck to our bodies, the labels of our own and others. The images that had been placed upon us.
She then read the account of humankind's creation. She read in Pauls epistles that we are neither Jew, or Greek, or male or female, or slave or free. She went further and said we are neither gay nor straight, white nor black, vegan nor carnivore. And she invited us to take all of our labels off, and to sit in silence for a while and just be...
the image of God
together
it was beautiful
rev
Monday, July 11, 2011
What is church
Yesterday I visited some friends and their community to discuss a bit of what it means to be church, and share some of my story. One young man said, "church is a group of people learning what it means to follow Jesus in their neighborhood" Or something to that effect. I thought it was a wonderful, simple, yet profound answer.
The church is not an event, where someone teaches us what it means to follow Jesus, but rather a community, within which we learn by doing, by acting out the gospel, by being the extension of Jesus life, here and now. This is what being the church is.
As the three or four of you that read this blog know, I am not one for moderation. As far as I am concerned we should tear down the whole structure, and start from the ruins. But revolution for its own sake will build the same crap, or even worse. What we must seek to become, is a community, of people drawn together by love, for love. What we must walk out is the messy, ugly, painful meaning of the kingdom of heaven.
Lets start with being the change we want to see in the church
rev
The church is not an event, where someone teaches us what it means to follow Jesus, but rather a community, within which we learn by doing, by acting out the gospel, by being the extension of Jesus life, here and now. This is what being the church is.
As the three or four of you that read this blog know, I am not one for moderation. As far as I am concerned we should tear down the whole structure, and start from the ruins. But revolution for its own sake will build the same crap, or even worse. What we must seek to become, is a community, of people drawn together by love, for love. What we must walk out is the messy, ugly, painful meaning of the kingdom of heaven.
Lets start with being the change we want to see in the church
rev
Friday, July 01, 2011
twelve weeks of dieting and exercise
so here is my before pics
and after pics
pretty happy with the results, but I am not close to done. Taking the weekend off for my birthday and then back at it.
john
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
