part 5 (why I believe in Jesus)

Now in the past few posts I explained subjectively why I believe in Jesus. What I will do now is explain why I think it makes sense. In order to get to why I believe in Jesus, we must first start with why I believe in a God. And I will start there with a brief, radical paraphrase of the ideas I find in Simply Christian, by NT Wright. Please read that book if you want a more indepth approach (plus he is way smarter than I)

When I look at humanity, there are a few things that stand out that do not seem to fit into the idea of biological evolutionary theory. Not to say whether evolution is wrong or right, nor refuting the idea that we also evolve socially, as that would help us to evolve biologically.

These curious things in us humans, form the basis of why I believe there is something that is more than natural going on. In no particular order:

Our appreciation of beauty. In some species we can see natural benefits to appreciating atleast colors, and such. But in human experience there is an intense love of beauty that goes far beyond anything that can be considered biologically beneficial. We can stand in awe of a sunset, or a full moon, a majestic beach, or a twisted tree fighting for survival amidst a stark landscape. We can walk for hours just staring at paintings, sit for hours listening to music or oooh and awwww over photographs. There is something about our appreciation for beauty, that I believe suggests there is something behind our humanity that is not only inteligent, but creative, and beautiful

Our desire for intimate relationship. This is not the idea of being a pack (though we have those traits), nor is it the idea of a mating relationship (though we have those traits too) but in humans we have an incredible desire to know, and be known. To become part of others, and for them to be part of us. To experience life and feel like we are not alone. We crave an answer to our loneliness, and I believe this comes from ourselve being created by the community of God. Designed for perfect relationship by the perfect relationship.

Our concept of justice. There is no logical, natural reason to believe in fair. Yet every child knows that this is, and this isn't fair. Why do we have a concept of justice? This just gets in the way of our biological imperitive doesn't it? The natural idea is, what is... is, and it is just because it is. But no matter how inteligent the philosopher or scientist, they know, deep down that some things are not fair, they are not right, and something in them cries out for justice. Where does that come from? I suggest from God, our just creator.

And our desire for spirituality. There is something in us that desires to worship, that desires to believe, to make a leap of faith. Almost every single human tribe is drawn to some form of worship, whether it is the sun, the trees, the seasons, or any variety of gods. There is something in us that desires to be more than our earthly existence. We desire more, a connection with the greater than ourselves. There is in humanity a desire for eternity, for enlightenment, for more that what is natural. And many that do not believe in God, reach out for this spirituality. They reach out for it by clinging to political, or economic ideologies, they cling to the spirituality of consumerism, of the cult of experiences or even of science itself. We are by our very nature, spiritual beings, why is that? Because we have been made that way by the spirit of creation.

My belief in the idea of a God, is confirmed by these ideas. We cannot yearn for justice, if there isn't a judge, we would not yearn for beauty if there wasn't a creator, we would not yearn for eternity if there wasn't an eternal, and we long for relationship, because we are made to be in relationship.

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Part 4 (why I believe in Jesus)

The past three parts have all talked about my experiences, and this one will not be different. I might begin once again by saying that I do not look at these experiences as proof of anything, at least not to anyone but myself. However, I do believe they have put me into a mindset that makes me begin with the assumption that there is a God, that that God does relate to us in some way. This will be the last post that talks about things in a more subjective manner. After this post I will begin to talk about the logical reasons why I believe in God (to support my subjective reasons0 and why I believe in the person of Jesus as opposed to all of the other faith choices. That will take some time. And I will end with my defense against some of the critiques against theism, and Christianity in general.

So, in quick summation: I had a weak theistic upbringing, with a significant but not compelling experience during my youth. Then I had a very significant experience of community, and a sensual drawing towards a commitment to Jesus and God, to which I made a leap of faith, and was met with what felt like an agreeable internal reaction.

Then I began to do the stuff you are supposed to do as a Christian, (atleast the stuff I had imagined, or was being taught). I read the bible, I prayed, I went to church, and I preached to others. I stopped doing a lot of the "bad things" I did before, basically partying and sex, and other selfish acts, and tried to be a better person. As I did these things, I felt more and more peace in my mind. I felt a better awareness of who I was, and who I was meant to be. I experienced a deeper care for other people, and I began to feel like I was physically and mentally closer to what I had come to determine was the spiritual center (God) of my experience.

As I tried to do what the bible seemed to teach, it seemed true to me. As I began to look at the teachings, and actions of Jesus, it made more and more sense. I also began to read books that helped me look at the defenses of the faith, and the bible, but I will talk about those later. I felt like God had reached out to me, I felt like I had touched a part of the Spirit, and I knew my life was being altered, I subjectively assume that this was from outside influence, and not just church culture, as I can tell you, the further I go in this journey the less the church in general supports the direction I am going.

Which leads us to some other experiences. Again let me point out that I do not expect you to take these things as proof, they didn't happen to you, they are not repeatable, nor verifiable, but they are my experiences. As they are my experiences, I believe it would be intelectually dishonest to deny them.

I began to be a part of many things, that could be called miraculous, or supernatural. I do not talk about them often, and some I will only tell certain people. The proliferation of people like Benny Hinn, and Robert Tilton have made me more and more committed to allowing these things to stay quiet. I have seen first hand, significant healings, food multiplied, and words of knowledge (knowing things you have no way of knowing). I have experienced spiritual attack (yes demons). And the most significant is seeming to have wisdom that just "comes to me" when it is needed. I do not want to dwell on these things, and they are very sacred to me, so please lets keep any discussion respectful and not too prying.

In my life I feel like I have actually heard God's voice outloud a couple of times, but feel like I hear God's voice often in subtle whispers in my mind, through the pages of scripture, in dreams, and through loved ones. One particular story I will share with you, it isn't a really big deal, but it was a big deal to me:

A woman who was a devout Christian was at my school's wrestling meet to watch her son. He was on the Junior Varsity team, and of course she stayed to watch the varsity team as well, which I was on. When she saw me, she immediately felt like God spoke to her saying, "this one I have set aside for the ministry" After the meet she tried to get to me to tell me what she had heard. But for whatever reason, she was not able to reach me. She asked her son on the way home if I was a Christian, and he told her he didn't think so. The truth was if she would have told me, I would have thought she was a looney (as some of you probably do right now).

Probably three or four years later I was going to church, was in training to become a minister, but was having some doubts. I was wondering if I was not qualified, and was actually having a bit of a crisis of faith, not doubting God, but wondering about myself, my life, and my place in the church. I visited a big mega church that seated about 3,000 people, on a Sunday night. The woman just happend to go that Sunday night to take her daughter and a few of her friends (she usually didn't go, like myself) and wound up seated directly behind me. When the service was over she asked if I was Jensen (she didn't even know my first name) I said yes, and she told me what she had heard, all those years earlier. This was so moving and important to me, as I was praying hard for God to help me, and lead me. There are just too many co-incedences in that story for me to discount it, and as I heard someone else say, "when I stop praying, the co-incedences stop happening).

When people ask why I believe in God, and specifically Jesus, my first answer is, "because I have found God, and Jesus, interacting within my life. I cannot deny these experiences, so I start there, but..."

The but leads us into the next section, reasons why my experiences make sense to me, and why I believe they are the rational outworkings of what is truth.

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my succulents

these are my arrangements, three succulent arrangements and one miniature zen garden

so, finally part 3

Sorry it took so long, had a hard week in more ways than one.

So far all we have is a very weak cultural religion that was passed on by my family, and one experience. Not much to build a world view on there. But if you asked me back then if I believed in God, I would have said yes, and if I believed in Jesus I would have said yes. But if you asked if I cared, I would have said no. I think if anyone really tested me at this point, it all would have fallen apart, because it was based on very little.

So then my mother started going to a different kind of church. This church was what I call a popcorn pentecostal church. Because through out the service people just pop up, and "give their testimony". To be honest I thought it was all a bit weird, but Catholic church wasn't exactly normal, so...

I would go once and a while to make my mom happy. At this time I also started Portuguese bullfighting, which is pretty nuts as the picture shows. So I would ask for prayers as a superstitious kind of belief. Never really thought they did much, but they couldn't hurt right? Well I got smashed up pretty good lots of times, but never anything really serious, but didn't attribute that to the church or God at all.

Then, as often happens some very attractive girl showed up at church, and she had a really scratchy voice that I found very appealing as well (found out later she had vocal nodules from singing too much and that cleared up). Well, I decided to hang around a bit more, and try to hook up with said young lady. Eventually I decided I had done enough prep work and asked her out, and she said yes. She was from a sister church, and I didn't know her, or any of the others from her church, but when she invited me to go to a New Years eve party on our second date, at her sister's house.

Well, I had never been to a Christian New Years party, was expecting much boringness, and I wasn't disappointed at first. No alcohol, or other more potent party fuel, soft crappy Christian music, and a whole house full of Ned Flanders (before there was a Ned of course). But a strange thing happened as I hung around, these people seemed to have a very intense, and palpable love for each other that was more than I had seen before. Now remember, I was part of a group of men that actually risked our very lives for each other, so I understood close community, but this was different. And what was more, they seemed to welcome me into this family for no other reason, than I was there. I began to want to be more like those people.

Then at midnight, everyone got in a circle and took turns sharing what God had done in their lives the preceeding year. So about thirty individuals, one by one, declared first hand experience with their God. There were answered prayers, there were deep life lessons, there was comfort in the midst of tragedy. It was very moving. But combined with the community love, it was overwhelming to me. I also felt, as best as I can describe, this internal belief that I was made in my very core, for this. To live in love, and community. I felt an inner witness, that felt like a drawing voice (didn't hear anything, just trying to explain it). I wanted what these people had, and they sure believed it was God, and I was willing to make a leap.

I will point out, it was a leap of faith. There was external factors, and I believe they were, at least subjectively, compelling, but nothing approaching evidence. I took a dive based on faith, but I felt myself land into loving arms. I felt like I really met God at this point.

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Why part 2

Please understand that I am trying to be totally honest here. I am also being completely subjective. This is not a presentations of facts, and logical insights that lead to certain understanding. I am not following an evidence that demands a verdict style of presentation. Rather I am telling my story, I am trying to do so honestly, and trying not to edit myself for effect.

With this in mind, I do not expect to convince anyone, but rather to explain myself. This is not an exercise in debate, or argument, but rather one of revelation. There are some things I will not talk about in depth, this is because I have a huge amount of respect for them, and will not subject them to public scrutiny or ridicule, I hope you can understand that.

So lets start with my beginnings. I grew up in a very marginally catholic home. My dad was more of a deist, he believed that there must be some kind of creator, but that this being whatever it was was both unknowable, and disinterested in its creation. My mother was a very strong believing catholic, but did not practice regularly for most of her life. I went to catechism, made first communion, and later went to Catholic school in Jr High and High School.

When I was very young, 10 or 11 years old the charismatic movement was effecting the catholic church that I was associated with. This belief was that the Holy Spirit, (the spiritual influencing part of the community of God) was active in our lives, allowing us to understand God's voice, and even doing miracles. It was very emotional, and of course this emotion was believed to be evidence of God's presence in our midst, which is how I took it as well.

During one meeting they left a mic turned on at the front of the church and asked people to come up if they believed God had given them a message for the church. I believed, and still believed that certain words came into my head that were not my own. I didn't hear a voice, but more realized a few sentences. So I walked up and said what I thought was God's message. I was told later that my voice sounded different, and a number of different things, but at the time I just felt like I had responded to God. I did not stay in the church for much longer. I began to drift further and further away, and though I did believe in God (and Jesus, as this is how I was raised to understand God) it had nothing to do with the day to day living of my life. I went to church once and a while, or when I had to, but there was no real faith in my life.

I learned a lot in school, they were actually quite forthright about church history, and gave the ugly side of things as well as the nice. But my cultural bias towards Christianity was actually quite small, but it was prevailing. The experience with the charismatic prophecy or whatever you want to call it, was the only personal experience I had until I was 18 and it wasn't enough to hold me.

I will continue, this is a long process, so please be patient

Why I am a believer in Jesus

I have been asked many times by my atheist friends why I believe in Jesus, or God in general. The question is usually unintentionally pretty aggressive. It often goes something like this, "john, you seem like a fairly intelligent guy, and you aren't brain washed, how can you believe in God?"

Well, this might take some time. So sit back and relax, I will tackle this issue over a few weeks most likely. In doing so I will borrow or steal from NT Wright, Alvin Plantinga, CS Lewis, and probably a few others that I just can't remember. I most likely won't deal with questions in the comment section, unless they are about clarifying what I already said. If I don't answer you, it is because I am scared of your question and buried my head in the sand...

or I will be addressing it in later posts.

I will do this in this order:

The subjective reasons that I personally have come to this belief

The less subjective reasons why I think that a belief in God is reasonable

The less subjective reasons why I believe that Jesus, and Christianity is the most correct path of many

The less subjective reasons why I do not believe in a godless abiogenesis

And how I deal with some tough questions about the nature of evil, difficult bible passages, and biblical interpretation

I will most likely begin the first part tomorrow morning

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Atheist church (I was guest speaker)

My brother does an atheist church every week, he asked me to be his guest speaker last week, hope you enjoy, and pardon my potty mouth

part one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5WuCjwybUc


part two
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHHpvEWcTH8

The beatitudes and salt and light

So tonight we once again talked about how we are putting the beatitudes into practice in our lives. Blessed are the poor in spirit, the mourners, those that hunger and thirst for justice, the pure in heart, the merciful, the peacemakers, those that are persecuted for justice sake. Each of us shared about how we tried to live one of these out over the week previous. But we also talked about the very next set of verses in Jesus sermon on the mount (matthew chapters 5-7 in the bible)

These next few verses may be familiar to you. You are the salt of the earth, and you are the light of the world. See, in Jesus the kingdom of God has come, has begun. His disciples are called to walk in this kingdom community, and the beatitudes begin to show how radically different this is to what they see in the world, and even what they expect from the Messiah. It is not the powerful that are blessed by God, but the meek. It is not the rich that are blessed by God, but the poor. It is not those that have all the justice they could desire but those that are actually suffering injustice and longing for it. Jesus turns the world upside down. And then explains how this will effect the world.

Contrary to many of our Christian domination ideas, Jesus says that we will be a flavor and preservative for the world. We will not force them to live right, but we will give them a taste of something different, and we will keep the world from getting spoiled, just by our being in it.

And again, we are not to hide away and practice our kingdom outside of the world, or more currently, to create our own "Christian" version of culture that we hide out in. But instead, we become a light in darkness. Matthew calls us to not try and influence from the top, but instead to influence from the margins. To be a light in darkness.

So as we walk out these radical new ways of being, we become that which give the world a taste of heaven, that preserves the world for heaven, and that shines a light, that calls people out of darkness. This is how the kingdom is meant to influence, from a position of love, and service, not from a position of power

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Something I have been thinking about

If you look at the way Jesus starts his ministry in the three synoptic gospels this is what you find:

Matthew 4:23 (New International Version)

Jesus Heals the Sick

²³Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people.

Mark 1:14 (New International Version)

The Calling of the First Disciples

¹⁴After John was put in prison, Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God.

Luke 4:14-20 (New International Version)

Jesus Rejected at Nazareth

¹⁴Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. ¹⁵He taught in their synagogues, and everyone praised him.

¹⁶He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. ¹⁷The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:
¹⁸"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
¹⁹to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."^a]">[a]

²⁰Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him,

So Jesus starts his ministry in all three of these gospels with a declaration of the kingdom of God, or what that means. Though each author is writing to a different group of people, this is what they see as the important part of Jesus ministry, and its beginning. He begins his ministry by explaining that a new way of life is begun in His life. That this new way of living is the rulership of God. That that this new empire of God, is begun in Him, (yet we know that it is also going to be completed in His return).

But...

in John, the beginning of Jesus' signs (which John later tells us have special significance and will lead us to understand who Jesus is, and how we have life through him), is His actions at the Wedding at Cana. Here He turns water, set aside for ritual cleansing, into wine for the wedding party. Now there is so much in that. Jesus making huge amounts of high quality wine for a party where they already drank too much! The symbolism of taking ritual, and transforming it into a party! and much more.

However, if you look at things from an an end times or metaphorical way, you can see another interesting thing. Jesus starts his ministry by taking part in the celebration at a wedding feast. Now we often hear about the "great wedding feast" when Jesus and the church, finally get to be together, and the wonder of the fulfillment of history. But his first "sign" in John is becoming involved in a wedding ceremony and reception.

So lets put that with the other three gospels. Jesus starts his ministry in the three synoptic gospels talking about the beginning of something that we are to participate in, that will be fulfilled in its entirety, in the future. Now, and not yet. But in John, Jesus performs a sign at a wedding, that "begins" a party, that I believe symbolically, is the start of something that will be finished in the end times with the great marriage feast, the culmination of the kingdom.

This of course is just another layer of scripture, not more or less important from more literal truths, just something I have been thinking about. What is the application? I guess just the acknowledgment that all four gospels tell us of a way of living, initiated in Jesus, that we are invited to take part in, while waiting its fulfillment. I guess in Johns gospel we just see the celebration of it all, and are welcomed to the party

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today is my birthday

Got my tattoo on my forearm finished as a birthday present, woo hoo